Your Best Ideas for Predator and Aliens Novels

Illustration for article titled Your Best Ideas for Predator and Aliens Novels

Last week, Jeff VanderMeer celebrated the publication of his new Predator novel by asking you guys to come up with your own pitches for a Predator or Aliens novel. Now he's announced the winners, and we've got their ideas for you below. Some of these book ideas actually sound pretty good! Couldn't possibly be worst than the last AvP movie, anyway. ldevitt:

An Alien and a Predator are forced to live together in a small house in the suburbs. The great bathroom commercial can be a promo for the new not-buddies comedy. Predator is sick of Alien building resin hives in the living room and Alien is tired of Predator killing and taking trophies from any one alien brings home.



Aliens vs Predator: Omega A visual book with only a narrative story about a hunter's last hunt. The story would follow an aging predator on a final alien hunt on a very harsh arctic planet. The Predator is scarred and carries many battle trophies on his armor. Throughout the story we are gifted with great views of the lone predator traversing a wide empty landscape symbolizing his solitude at the end of the road. He battles scattered aliens on the way to a hive and with each fight he comes off more fatigued and injured as he struggles with combat and his age. The book culminates with his final assault on the inner sanctum's of the hive and a battle with the Queen. During the fight some younger Predator's show up and simply watch the fight playout. In this hunter society there is no honor in a death that is not in glory and of battle. We watch as the battle comes to a draw in both the Queen and the predator's deaths. The young predators bury the fallen warrior with a champions funeral pyre atop the burning remnants of the hive.



A Predator returning from a hunt on a distant world is tasked with eliminating a rogue Predator that is breaking the rules of the hunt by attacking anything in its path, even if it cannot fight back. The rogue Predator, roaming around in Austin, Texas, attracts the attention of the US black ops group tasked with capturing Predators, forcing the second Predator to fight not only the rogue, but well equipped teams of commandos hell bent on capturing both Predators. After dealing with a human trap and killing the rogue Predator, the hero Predator leaves a parting gift for the commandos who tried to capture him: an EM pulse that ruins most electronic systems in the city. After dropping off the body of the rogue Predator, the hero Predator goes off on another hunt somewhere in the galaxy...


1) ripley's dead, lets leave her alone. please, for the love of god, no more character resurrections to keep the series going. find new characters — i'd love to see sigourney stay involved, but leave the character dead. 2) the alien chasing people through dark coridors has been done to death. what made aliens a good movie is that it completely changed genre from the first movie. alien 3, while a decent film (in the director's cut version), wasn't all that exciting because it basically rehased the first movie, with the sexual innuendo replaced with religious innuendo. so if we're gonna make a good one, let's really change it up and not try to be like any other alien movie before. so here's the premise. the film opens on earth, and it's absolutely devastated. we are approximately 30 years after the aliens first arrived, via the company's finally successful attempts to capture and research a sample. and now, every alien on earth is dead, save one. it has been a long and hard war, and one that humanity has won in a manner very similar to hg well's "war of the worlds." because the aliens pick up host DNA, each rapid and successive generation partially hybridizes more and more with the host species, before it reproduces and dies off. the alien corpses that litter the streets are pink and fleshy, with shorter heads and smaller stature than we are used to seeing. they have been defeated by genetic abnormality, and compatibility with human immunodeficiency disease: they caught something very much like aids. all is looking up for humanity, until a forgotten relic shows up just past the outter rim: a strange u-shaped spacecraft, moving very slowly and leaving a trail of ghost ships in its wake. now the planet must turn to the remnants of the weyland-yutani bioweapons division, and one of their scientists' pet alien for salvation. the origin and function of the aliens as biological warfare and planetary colonization need to be examined in light of the reappearance of the ancient ship at the edge of the solar system — that might be coming with a much more dangerous "pure" form of alien ready to devastate earth all over again. can we turn the aliens on their creators, without again destroying the planet in the process?


Congrats, winners! All of you get a free copy of Jeff's new novel, Predator: South China Sea.


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Here goes:

Oh no! Alien has eaten Santa Claus! Now the Predator must don the red hat and deliver polished skulls to all the good boys and girls of the world, in a single night!

(Wacky hijinks ensue.)

This works equally well if Predator makes a trophy out of Santa Claus and Alien must deliver facehuggers to all the good boys and girls.