The first early reviews of the new X-Files movie have shown up online... and they're not encouraging. Phrases like "Where's the action?" and "nothing more than an extended episode of the TV series" are being bandied about. But the truly horrifying part is the explanation of Billy Connolly's weird character — the one with the funny eyes in the trailers. Click through for spoilers and downers.

Both early reviews, at Ain't It Cool News and Voize, agree that the movie is kind of boring and emotionless. Writer/director Chris Carter has said in many interviews that he wouldn't allow the cast to have full copies of the script, to guard against leaks. And as a result, the cast appear not to know what's supposed to be going on in the movie, leading to flat, dull performances. Not a lot happens in the movie, and it feels like a TV episode padded out to 90 minutes.


But the feelings of major dread come from reading the spoilers in the AICN review. If true, they make the film sound truly hideous. First and foremost, Billy Connolly's psychic priest character, Father Joe, is a convicted pedophile who's been defrocked as a result. The FBI agents are forced to work with him because he holds the key to finding a kidnapped FBI agent, through his psychic connection with her. It's sort of a Clarice/Hannibal situation, except that Father Joe's pedophilia isn't dealt with meaningfully. And the movie hints that the victims of pedophiles are more dangerous than the pedophiles themselves.

Also, Scully mentions rather casually that her baby is dead, as a convenient way to let her and Mulder sally forth without worrying about a kid. And it's also mentioned in passing that the FBI has stopped chasing Mulder and Scully, even though the charges against them were never dropped. It's just mentioned, but not really explained. There's a subplot about Scully's administrative duties at a hospital that goes nowhere. There's a weird sight gag involving a picture of George Bush and a picture of J. Edgar Hoover, which falls flat. More importantly, the movie supposedly has a third act that verges on unintentional comedy.

[Ain'tItCoolNews and Voize]

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