Witness the semi-choreographed madness of the 1980s Marvel Comics parade floats

Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark has returned to the Great White Way with serious script revamps, but this isn't the first time Spidey's retooled his act for a Manhattan audience.

Spider-Man — along with Power Man, Dr. Doom, Captain America, Enchantress, Silver Surfer, Magneto, and uh, Robocop — made guest appearances on Marvel Comics' Macy's Thanksgiving Parade float in 1987 and 1989. I'm seriously hoping these appearances are canonical. I like the idea of Robocop, Melba Moore, and (according to the above newscaster) Wonder Woman as lost Avengers.

The top clip is from 1989. The heroes don't really dance as much as they vamp and preen. Magneto looks particularly fierce. The bottom video dates back to 1987. The heroes must defeat Dr. Doom before the Back to the Future theme ends. If you're pregnant or operating heavy machinery, don't watch these videos.

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Kill me now.

Honestly, you get the feeling the "actors" (and i use that term loosely) were given ZERO direction as to what to do behind the 'singing' chick.

And I'm sorry, Dr. Doom is fist-pumping. The end of the Universe is nigh...