Illustration for article titled Which HBO pilot has more nudity: True Blood or Game of Thrones?

Which HBO pilot has more ridiculous nudity: True Blood or Game of Thrones? We did the math. We counted up the nip-slips and ass shots, and compared the Dothraki's naked dances to True Blood's vampire sex tapes. Guess who won?


NSFW clip breakdown below.

One thing that stuck out to us after viewing the Game Of Thrones pilot was the rampant raunchiness. Sure, there's nudity, sex and naked wedding dances in the book, but does the book pan the camera down so we can get an extra shot of Daenerys Targaryen's behind? Nope. Still, we were sure that GOT couldn't be as salacious as Alan Ball's vampire orgy, True Blood. Or could it? The results will shock you.

Here are two "similar" scenes so you catch the drift:

Game Of Thrones:

True Blood

And here's our breakdown:

Total Number of Scenes That Included Nudity (and/or) a Sex Act:
True Blood: 4
Game Of Thrones: 5


Total Number of Scenes That Included Nudity:
True Blood: 3
Game Of Thrones: 4.5 (As you only see the top of her rump in the twin scene, we're giving it a .5)

Number of Characters Who Were Totally Naked:
True Blood: 3 (Don't forget the vampire in the vampire sex tape)
Game Of Thrones: 2 (Only counting Daenerys Targaryen once, even though she was naked twice)


Number of Characters Who Had Sex (or Performed a Sex Act) On Screen:
True Blood: 5
Game Of Thrones: 4 (6 if you count what we didn't really see with Daenerys Targaryen and Drogo and we don't — so let's say 4).

Number of Prostitutes:
True Blood: 0
Game Of Thrones: 4

Number of Male Ass Shots (per character):
True Blood: 1
Game Of Thrones: 0

Number of Female Ass Shots (per character):
True Blood: 1
Game Of Thrones: 4

Number of Nip Slips (per character):
True Blood: 1
Game of Thrones: 8 (there are three topless women that we counted at the wedding party)


Amount of Time Dedicated to Naked Talking, Sex, Sexual Dancing, Nudity and Sex Acts:
True Blood: Around 4 minutes
Game of Thrones: Around 6:30 (didn't include the entire wedding scene, since that felt unfair so we just included the really carnal parts)

Actual On Screen Nudity and Sex Time:
True Blood: About 2:00 minutes
Game Of Thrones: About about 2:55 minutes of actual on screen nudity time.


As you can see Game of Thrones whallops True Blood on-sexy softcore porn, we can not believe it. The vampire show is going to have to step up the dirt sex if it wants to compete. Other observations: Tyrion Lannister is the new Jason Stackhouse.

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