What to Wear to the End of the World

Illustration for article titled What to Wear to the End of the World

Obviously, when the Apocalypse comes you want to be dressed for it. You want to look good, and have a place to keep your tools and weapons and jerky. We've got some tips for end-of-the-world fashion you can wear today.

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You want clothes that are sturdy, in case you're dragged over the desert sands behind a motorcycle, and clothes that are washable, because your dry cleaner is at the bottom of the new Los Angeles Sea. You'll want clothes that are modular, because you're likely to be wearing the same outfit for quite a while. You may want clothes that are armored, knife-proof or bulletproof, and you'll definitely want some fucking bad-ass boots. Also, you should do your shopping as soon as possible, before the worldwide economic meltdown.

For boots, get yourself some New Rocks. Sure, they cost a fortune, but you'll never be buying another pair of boots anyway, on account of that EMP taking out all the electronic currency. If you must go with Demonia, the Stomp or Transformer models are good for kicking in zombie heads. The Transformer can be instantly weaponized with attachable spikes.

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Of course, the accessory you need most of all is Milla Jovovich and her machete.

This post by Suzanne Forbes original appeared at Carnal Nation.

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DISCUSSION

mamadragon49
mamadragon49

Sooo unfair that the guys get all the eye candy. I want to see my young post-apocalyptic young men running around in fish net tac vests, leather chaps (they'll probably have to have a cod piece for protecting vital spots), and leather boots. Then I want my older guys in jeans, cut-off flannel shirts (good arms and shoulders are so hot), and running shoes.