What Should A Star Trek Movie Require?

Illustration for article titled What Should A Star Trek Movie Require?

Click to viewIt may be nine months until we get to see JJ Abrams' rebooted Star Trek, but that doesn't mean that he's not willing to talk about it. TrekMovie.com quotes the director from a recent TVGuide interview, saying that "I think this movie is going to be worth the wait." Not that we'd expected anything different from him, mind you, but his reasoning may not be what you'd think. Learn what that reasoning is, and find out what would make the movie worth the wait for us.Explaining just why the movie is worth the wait, Abrams said,

It's blessed with a wonderful optimism and an incredibly alive and invested cast. While the visual effects are gonna be unbelievable, the movie is working right now with only 50 of our 1,000-plus visual effects finished. It's funny, it's scary, it's dramatic, emotional and entertaining–all without having the stuff you'd think a movie called "Star Trek" would require.


So, unless he's been misquoted, is he actually saying that the movie is good even though it doesn't have any of the traditional Star Trek trappings, or that it's good even before you get to those trappings? Because, if it's not the latter, then all of a sudden I'm very curious to see what he's come up with. But more importantly, what are "the stuff you'd think a movie called 'Star Trek' would require?" We know that the movie features the classic Enterprise crew, and also aliens who may or may not be Romulans. Spoilers promise scenes on Vulcan and in Starfleet Academy (involving the Kobyashi Maru test, apparently), and I'd bet my bottom dilithium crystal that there's going to be a space battle or two in there at some point. What classic Star Trek checkboxes haven't been ticked yet? Here're our suggestions: A Technical Disaster Aboard The Enterprise: You have to give Scotty something to do, after all. Our suggestion would either involve a faulty photon torpedo tube or else shields failing at a critical moment. For any other chief engineering officer, it would take days to fix... but our heroes don't have days. A Sultry Alien Woman Who Wants To Learn About This Thing Humans Call Love: Kirk wouldn't be Kirk if he wasn't romancing the alien ladies, after all. Bonus points if said romancing will (a) involve a moment where Kirk grabs the alien by the arms before planting one on her extra-terrestrial lips, and (b) solve some diplomatic problem without the need for violence. Also, if said sultry alien happens to be bright green? All the better. (Extra bonus points if Kirk is also seen propositioning Starfleet Academy students and/or Enterprise crew members at some point. Keeping sexual harrassment lawyers busy even in the 24th century; good work, James Tiberius.) Klingons: Look, Romulans and Vulcans are all well and good, but if there's one alien race that's really been a must for Star Trek, it's the Klingons. I don't care if they're just in the background of a lot of scenes, or if they just pop up in the middle of an important scene and demand Kirk's head on a platter for crimes against the Empire, but it's Star Trek; there really has to be some ribbed-head action at some point. Doctor McCoy Dispenses Some Non-Medical Advice: Perhaps more a movie-staple than original TV Trek, we're still going to feel ripped off if Bones doesn't get to offer some calm advice about the human cost of some particular dilemma somewhere during the movie. Along similar lines, Spock Experiences A Human Emotion That Probably Involves Him Smiling, To Show That Even Stuffy Aliens Are Just Like Us, Really: If that one doesn't appear at the end of the movie, we're going to be asking for our money back. Abrams: Star Trek Is Worth The Wait [TrekMovie]


@vampyr17: Actually, I thought the retcon was pretty well handled: The genetic manipulations that created Khan were stolen by the Klingons whose first attempt to 'improve' living Klingon warriors wound up creating an infectious disease that only certain human genes stabilized. Quite a blow to their cultural ego, leaving more than a little resentment towards the humans (who created the technology to begin with). The 'cure' was expected to be required for a few generations until the Klingon genome itself adapted, but work began immediately on restoring their original appearances through "cranial ridge reconstruction surgery". It explained the silence on the matter from both Humans and Klingons, Worf's embarrassment, and the re-appearance of Kirk's classic Klingon adversaries on DS9 as fully-ridged warriors. I consider it a nifty piece of writing.