This is fine.
This is fine.

Folks, it’s been a banner week for Guardians of the Galaxy merchandise that looks like it’s contemplating the nature of the cruel, remorseless world we live in.

Hasbro has revealed three new 3.75" Marvel Legends action figure two-packs, based on the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The three packs, which will retail for $20 each, are based on Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Spider-Man: Homecoming, and the most recent Marvel film, Doctor Strange. Poor Steven Strange only gets an astral version of himself to be paired with, while the Spider-Man set gives us Tom Holland’s Spidey and Michael Keaton’s Vulture, ready to scrap with each other.

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Illustration for article titled What Is It With This Week and Creepy iGuardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2/i Toys?
Illustration for article titled What Is It With This Week and Creepy iGuardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2/i Toys?
Illustration for article titled What Is It With This Week and Creepy iGuardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2/i Toys?

But we’re not here to talk about those. We’re here to talk about the Guardians set, which gives us Star-Lord and Yondu figures.

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Illustration for article titled What Is It With This Week and Creepy iGuardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2/i Toys?

No wait, we’re just here to talk about the Yondu figure in particular, because holy christ look at tiny plastic Michael Rooker’s face. It’s actually kind of amazing and well sculpted for such a small figure, but once again, holy christ look at tiny plastic Michael Rooker’s face. That is alarming. At first I thought he was meant to be foaming at the mouth, before I realized that the white paint was actually meant to be Yondu’s bared teeth.

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I kind of love it—it beats getting another neutral-faced action figure of the character, and gives it a ton of personality, even if that personality is “Totally Tripping Balls.” The Marvel Legends movie two-packs will be out in Spring.

James is a News Editor at io9. He wants pictures. Pictures of Spider-Man!

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