What is it about post-apocalyptic movies that let film-makers go way beyond the bounds of decency and common-sense? Case in point: She-Wolves of the Wasteland, a film in which all the men are dead, and all the women are insane.
She-Wolves of the Wasteland, also released on VHS as Phoenix the Warrior, has a fine cast of brilliant actors who bring a lot of gusto to the action-movie stuff. Just witness the scene above, where we first meet Phoenix. She's come here to eat an apple and kick ass — and she manages to do both, sort of.
Check out a few more clips, including a couple of NSFW scenes featuring some truly bizarre Amazons, below.
In She-Wolves of the Wasteland, bacterial warfare has wiped out all the men, and now the world is ruled by the evil Reverend Mother, who has some ill-defined plans to create a new human race via genetic engineering. But a lone woman, Keela, has managed to get impregnated with a healthy boy fetus, and is on the run from the Reverend Mother — when she meets up with Phoenix, a bad-ass "sand trapper" who fights for justice and stuff.
Check out some more amazing scenes — and watch for Star Trek's Persis Khambatta as Cobalt, the Reverend Mother's main enforcer.
Here's the bit where Keela tells Phoenix that she's carrying the first boy child in living memory — the acting in this scene is just absolutely stunning.
And then despite a few narrow escapes, Keela and Phoenix get away from the Reverend Mother's army, and find their way to a hidden cave where some free Amazons live. And apparently, these Amazons spend all of their time bathing topless — and in one case, waving a samurai sword around. This is what any sensible person who owns an amazing samurai sword would do — dance around with it under a waterfall wearing only a loincloth. Because it's part of the code of Bushido.
This clip is NSFW, in case it wasn't clear from the description!
Finally it's time for Keela to give birth, and the sword-waving Amazon dances around the fire (topless again) while some of the other Amazons stare at the fire and look like they're in some sort of demented trance. If I'd known about this scene when we were doing the roundup of best and worst childbirth scenes in science fiction, it definitely would have had a place of honor.
This clip is also NSFW!
This is my absolute favorite scene from the whole movie — the two women and their now-infant little boy discover an actual full-grown man. He is (wait for it) the last man on Earth. Phoenix is tempted to have her way with him, but she can't quite get the apparatus to work. Maybe because she kicked him in the face too many times.
Phoenix gets captured by the evil Cobalt (Persis Khambatta!!!!) and instead of killing her outright, they send her to the gladitorial pits to fight a woman wearing a mohawk and not much else. The announcer wearing a snazzy suit and saying "Ladies and Germs" is what makes it so perfect — because all the men are dead, so there's just ladies and "germs." Get it? Get it?
Phoenix and Keela are eventually reunited, but then they're crucified by mutants who worship television. And the mutants chant names of old television shows at them ("Siskel and Ebert at the Movies!" "The Dick Van Dyke Show!") while planning to sacrifice them to the "airwaves" using a precious shard of an old TV screen. Why doesn't every post-apocalyptic movie have television-worshipping mutants? Why?
And here's the final confrontation with Persis Khambatta's Cobalt, plus the Darth Sidious-esque Reverend Mother. Take-away lesson: Don't leave a live grenade on your belt where anybody can grab the pin.
And here's the movie's trailer, with the full apple-chomping, dune-buggy racing, machine-gun shooting glory. Yee haw!