What Child Character Deserves Their Own Grown-Up Movie?

Illustration for article titled What Child Character Deserves Their Own Grown-Up Movie?

Not all child characters are terrible annoyances. Some kids are actually awesome in their roles and we would totally pay cash money to get a follow-up grown-up feature—no matter how dark. What child character deserves their own grown up movie?


The Ewok Adventure: Cindel

[EDITOR NOTE: I totally forgot that Mace and died in Battle For Endor. It's fixed.] I am OBSESSED with dreaming about what life must be like for Cindel after her family's "StarCruser crashed," her parents were kidnapped by a giant, and her and her brother Mace were forced fight giant spiders, magical drowning lakes, and wolf-like beasts. Eventually Cindel's brother, mother and father would all die right in front of her. We are talking about a lifetime of therapy. What is Cindel up to now? Is she a wild woman living in the woods with her Ewok pals? The new Lara Croft? Or did things turn sour? Has brave, cute Cindel become a shut-in, chain-smoking Parliments and weeping into the stuffed carcass of an old Ewok friend she had stuffed and put in the corner. "I can't leave him, everyone leaves, everyone, not me. Yub nub, yub nub..."

Illustration for article titled What Child Character Deserves Their Own Grown-Up Movie?

E.T.: Elliott

The boy who had an alien friend. What happened after E.T. left? Do you think the government just allowed him to keep living his life? These two were mentally linked—what sort of void did that open up inside of Elliott after ET's departure? Did the government try and just sweep it all under the rug? Did his mother, brother and friends get paid off to lie and claim they made the whole thing up? Is Elliott alone in a shack somewhere trying to get back in touch with this best friend? WHY WON'T ANYONE BELIEVE HIM? But then one day, the Speak & Spell turns back on...

OK, now you go: what child character deserves their own grown-up follow-up film? Please include a picture, the title, the character, and your hopes and dreams.


Okay you haters, I've got my mom on speed dial to make me feel better after the relentless cyber bullying I'm about to call down on myself. Buuuuuuut...

Short Round. From Temple of Doom. What ever happened to that kid? What's his real story? As a preteen he was already pretty capable of taking care of himself in some tough scrapes, what type of hard-ass mother fucker would he grow into? Indiana Jones 5 should NOT be about Shia LeBoofs Indie Jr. character, it should be about a full grown Short Round.

Fucking come at me.