In the same week that we were given the news of a Tetris trilogy, we are also cursed with the knowledge that a Fruit Ninja movie is in development. Yes, that is the game where you slice fruit in half for as long as you can.
Tripp Vinson (San Andreas) is producing the film, while JP Lavin and Chad Damiani (How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack) are writing the script. What kind of script can you give Fruit Ninja, you ask? A live-action family comedy, of course!
Oh man, is it going to be about a family inexplicably trapped in a home that’s being attacked by vindictive fruit? I bet it is. And I bet the family learns a valuable lesson about loving each other through lessons in wielding swords against the fruit.
Fruit Ninja isn’t a game with a plot. What on Earth is there to adapt? Video game-based movies haven’t exactly lit the world on fire with their quality or their box office. This isn’t “so bad it’s funny” territory anymore. It’s just “so mediocre it’s frustrating.”