On last night's Arrow, Ollie and Thea have come to Ollie's old island to train. The title of the episode was "The Return," but we all know what its title should actually be: The Wrath of Khan.

Ollie and Thea barely have time to bond before they are betrayed. They discover that Malcolm Merlyn has decided to "help" them by freeing Slade Wilson, a.k.a. Deathstroke, and now a.k.a. every Star Trek fan's favorite villain.

Ollie is Kirk. Slade is Khan. Shado is the dear, departed Marla McGivers. Malcolm Merlyn is the ear worm that forces people to kill. The ARGUS prison that Slade temporarily locks Thea and Ollie up in is Ceti Alpha V. And Thea is the damaged warp drive, because when she finds out that Merlyn made her kill Sara, she pretty much melts his face off. (No! Not his face, Thea! Not his beautiful face!)


The only difference here is that "Khan" survives. I hope that he'll be played by Benedict Cumberbatch next season.

The real fun of this episode was the flashback full of bafflingly bad hair. I swear to god, Ollie's flashback wig is now the hair from the Lego surfer. It doesn't even move when he turns his head!


Ollie wanders around Starling City totally flaking on his and Maseo's mission to stop Chien Na Wei and an executive from Ollie's company auctioning off the omega virus. Instead, he follows Thea home from school to find her buying drugs on his and his father's graves. That moment is like the lobster of this show. You have to hack through a lot of inexplicable stuff to get to it (Ollie's following his sister to his house? Isn't that dangerous? What if there are security cameras?) but when you experience the payoff you realize it was all worth it. Also it's best if you wear a bib, because when you see this scene you are going to dribble stuff down your shirt.

Ollie also sees Tommy, whose haircut makes him look like a World War I flying ace. He's hosting a party, and doesn't want Thea to come. Guess what happens! If you guessed Thea comes to the party and buys more drugs, and thenOllie in a green hoodie follows the drug dealer upstairs and breaks his goddamn neck, you are probably the writer for this show and I salute you! That was fantastic! (Also, between a guy who sells drugs to underage girls standing on their father's grave and a heroic self-sacrificing billionaire, how does the billionaire have the creepier hair? Arrow. That's how! Arrow finds a way!)


Working security at the party is Digg, who gripes about it to his still-living brother. Man, I hope they give the Digg-trying-to-catch-his-brother's-killer some development this season. Especially since we spent the first half of the season trying to track down the killer of Laurel's sister. It's time to address that mystery!

It turns neither Ollie nor the drug dealer was the worst party guest. The worst party guest was a very drunk Quentin, who tears into Laurel for becoming a corporate sell-out instead of making the world a better place, Thea for being like her brother, and Tommy for being a spoiled rich boy with drug dealers and underage girls at his party. I gotta say, he's spot on. This was the epitome of in vino veritas.

Ollie looks at the devastation he has wrought (and takes an admiring gander at Felicity, which is totally fair), and decides to stay in Starling City. Then he peeks at a video message left to him by his dad, advising him that having a family isn't worth much if he doesn't have a soul, and asking him to "save this city." A gun fight and a driving accident later, and Ollie and Maseo are back on the same team and have the virus.


Amanda Waller then introduces her "superior," a General Matthew Shrieve. He promises Ollie a ride "anyplace" as soon as Ollie is debriefed. Ollie looks like he believes that as much as I do.