You’ll never think of teenage turtles the same way again.
On the latest episode of Nerdist’s Talkin’ Toons, host and voice actor Rob Paulsen reunited with his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles buddies to voice the infamous “The Contest” scene from Seinfeld, where the four characters bet money to see who could go the longest without masturbating.
Paulsen (as Raphael) read Jerry Seinfeld’s lines, Barry Gordon (Donatello) played the kooky clown Kramer, Cam Clarke (Donatello) took on the role of Elaine, and Townsend Coleman (Michelangelo) played George, the one who was caught playing a solo on the devil’s clarinet in the first place.
It’s weird enough imagining the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles masturbating, even though it kinda makes sense...since, you know, they’re teenagers and that’s what teenagers do. However, it becomes downright creepy once you remember how disgusting turtle penises are— technically, the ninja-fighting turtles should have three-foot dicks when erect.
You can check out the video below, and yearn for the life you led before I reminded you that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have sex organs. Turtle Power!