Last night, Once Upon A Time told its version of the story of Cinderella. So there were glass slippers, blue dresses, handsome princesses and Rumpelstiltskin murdered a fairy godmother. It was the gloopy nacho cheese-covered stuff we love, but we might be getting our fill of.
Robert Carlyle's Rumpelstiltskin was certainly a godsend last night. Cinderella's tale of real life woe is that of an impregnated 19-year-old, alone and helpless. At least that's what everyone was allegedly telling her: "You can't do this alone, sell your baby." So she does — kind of. Her Prince Charming (another fair-haired youth) is forbidden to see Ella in the real world, once her parents find out what they'd been up to (sex, they'd been up to sex). Next thing you know, they've arranged a deal to have the baby sold to Mr. Gold (i.e. Rumpelstiltskin in fairy tale land) for lots and lots of money (all very illegal, but this is addressed in the show). Everything's looking pretty bleak for Ella, but in the end she has the baby and her beau comes back, with tiny silver baby shoes for their little girl — get it!???
But also this is probably what they all mean when they tell the kids that they couldn't take care of their spawn, and newborn babies don't really need fancy shoes as much as formula, blankets, tiny diapers, a bed etc... How does she get her baby back? Emma traded Mr. Gold for a favor. And as is Mr. Gold's style, he doesn't tell her what the deal was for. Any guesses? I've got one: Emma solves the town mystery and everyone can go back, but Emma has to stay in terrible, no good Maine! Forever! AH HAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Anyways, in the much more exciting world of fairyland, Carlyle is wheeling and dealing and munching on the scenery so hard, I thought surely he'd pass out from pure ridiculous glee. He doesn't — but Snow White and Prince Charming (who are Ella and her new Prince's family now) help her trick Rumps into signing away all his powers. Then they can imprison him (hence Rumps imprisonment when we first meet him). Oh, and the two boys look very hunky thoughout all of this trickery.
Moving on. Ella imprisons Rumps, but in doing so doesn't fill out her end of the bargain. So presto change-o, her tiny fey Prince disappears. Rumps tells her she can get him back once she gives him her baby. What does this guy want with all these babies anyways?
Overall it was... good. I like Carlyle, and the episode was a nice break from watching the Mayor and Emma wander around town, crowing out things like "I told you so" and "responsibility" and "cray" with no real rhyme or reason. Thankfully next week, it looks like someone is finally going to tell Henry that his delusions are fake, and that should lead to some intense Jiminy Cricket talking time — and that man has a voice like a cigar smoking angel. So there's always that, plus more Carlyle. Can't wait to see what Emma's deal was for.
Oh and the Mayor is boinking the Sheriff now. THE END.