Wow, that was... interesting. One half of last night's Warehouse 13 was the weirdest hazing session of all time. You know a prank on your gay coworker is getting out of hand when it requires you to simulate heterosexual intercourse.

Spoilers ahead...

Note to straight people: If your new coworker reveals that he or she is gay, do not:

1) Flash your half-naked body at him or her, under the assumption that they'll be attracted to you because you're of the same sex, but it's okay because you're straight.

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2) Mock his/her prowess with the all-important ray gun.

3) Expose yourself to W.C. Field's drunk-off-your-ass balls — which I suggest renaming "tripping balls," for brevity's sake.

4) Lure the new guy into the bronzer, and then make yourself believe you've had sex with your other coworker, just so you'll be freaked out enough to investigate and track said new guy down.

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I know that all of the above sounds like a great plan, but it really isn't. I have a feeling it will take minds more subtle than mine to untangle all of the subtext of this episode — Steve Jinks rejects Pete's brilliantly sculpted bare chest, and Pete is so hurt that he's forced to imprison Steve Jinks and maneuver Myka into having bottle-blonde fake sex with him, just to restore his stud cred. Or maybe the bronzing of Steve Jinks is a way of turning Steve into an object, as a form of revenge for Steve's refusal to objectify Pete? Or maybe... You could write a thesis!

But we almost don't really care if Pete and Myka are boinking, or if Myka's blonde for good, or whether Steve will sue them for harrassment — because Artie's vegetable love is growing at last — albeit even slower than empires. The reference to vegetable love is sort of apt here, since Artie's potential girlfriend is very nearly turned into loam.

I like the love triangle between Artie, Vanessa and Hugo — and I like even more that it only lasts one episode, and Vanessa's reason for choosing Artie over Hugo actually makes a lot of sense. (Although the idea that she's hipper than Artie because she recognizes a generations-old Batman reference sort of makes me despair.)

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Oh, and the clueless annoying hacker voyeur dude who causes everybody to turn into clay gets recruited into the Evil League of Evil, alongside Sam Adama and the sassy FBI agent from the season opener. Can't wait to see the team meetings!