Video Proof That Cats Are Furry Work Saboteurs

This video speaks to me on a spiritual level. It's pure luck that I haven't accidentally posted something with a string of cat-generated gibberish in the middle of it. Mostly, my cats like to run searches.

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If you've ever tried to do work from home, and had to fight your furry work-haters the whole time, this is for you. The best part is how they always look so offended when you try to move them out of the way. Cats, man. Can't live with them, can't feel safe from rodents without them.

[via Tastefully Offensive]

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researchgrrrl
researchgrrrl

One of my darling ferrets is made of the devil. Bowie figured out how to sneak out of the bedroom (took me the longest time to figure out how she was defeating the Plexiglas forcefield) when I was sleeping. Whenever she did, she would always beeline for the computer in my office and walk around on the keyboard. She renamed a desktop icon, fired up features I didn't know the computer had, handtogod typed the word 'beer' into a Notepad note, and even opened a browser tab to print a knitting pattern. On one memorable occasion, I woke to Ted Nugent roaring about rawdogs and warhogs. (Bowie had apparently decided The Nuge would be a great soundtrack while renaming a few desktop icons.)

Prior to that little adrenaline booster, during another mid-night escape, I was awakened by what sounded like Stephen Hawking experiencing a massive psychological collapse, perhaps under the weight of all that he's come to understand about the universe, somewhere in the vicinity of my living room. Even still half-asleep, I suspected Dr Hawking probably hadn't travelled all this way to have said meltdown. Sure enough, Bowie was standing on the keyboard again and had somehow enabled Microsoft Narrator again. My computer (named Bender, which sort of makes this all the more hilarious to me) was tonelessly yelling 'Y Y Y O U U I U O O O Y O Y U R I I I Y O O U U U Y Y Y Y.'

Bowie looked pleasantly surprised to see me, sort of an 'Oh, hey! I didn't know you were up, too!' look.

'Bowie-baby, do you hear the computer?' I asked her. Bowie licked her lips, clearly expecting a treat.

'Y Y Y I U O Y Y I I O O Y,' the computer continued to yell.

I went on: 'Little girl, I think it's developing a rudimentary consciousness solely to have an emotional breakdown because of you.'

'U U I U O O O Y Y Y I U Y, the computer yelled some more, ever monotonous and robotic but eerily despairing for all that.

'Seriously, you have to leave it alone,' I told her. She licked her lips again and took a pick-me-up! step toward me. There were apparently some keystrokes stored in the software's crude memory, because it yelled, 'Y Y Y U R O I Y O K O K O L' after I'd picked her up. That last bit? Sounded just a little like resignation and a closing word of mild profanity. Bowie was utterly unmoved by it.

Ferrets: really kind of a lateral move when compared to cats, only instead of being offended, they're super-excited that you're interrupting them because that can only mean they're getting treats. Or something.