True Blood Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now I'm Dead

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead

Earlier today, I received a box marked "TRUE BLOOD" that caused me to weep uncontrollably and I just had to share it with everyone who has been pro and conning True Blood with me for the last 87 years.

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A few weeks ago, I received a note from a lot of good people at True Blood. I cried, showed it to my boss and demanded a raise.

But seriously, I had no idea this was going to be the follow up. And for some exceptionally generous reason, the True Blood crew has decided to share a few precious items with me, and it's really just all too great to keep secret. I don't usually show this stuff off, but this shit is legit and, well, here you go:

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This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief. This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief. This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief. This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief. This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief. This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief. This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief. This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief. This is Russell Edgington's handkerchief.

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead

Yes, that Russell Edgington. And the back is spotted with prop blood—I'm sorry, real vampire blood.

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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At first, I didn't comprehend what I was looking at. "Magister Video Store Key?"

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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And then it hit me...

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*UNCONTROLLABLE WEEPING*

And then there's the Gran photo, which I shall keep in a place of honor in my home, so Gran Monster can watch over me all of my days.

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Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead

Various business cards for important werewolf and vampire businesses. Oh, Portia...

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Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead

Blood-splattered note to the Authority.

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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Coasters from Lou Pine's bar? GET IT? YOU GET IT! I'M DEAD.

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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They're not blank; there is anti-vampire god stuff INSIDE THE PAGES. THIS IS TOO MUCH *holds hand up and makes a cringe-smile while shaking head.*

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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I mean...

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Oh hey, the back of an on-set chair for the "writer." That is just the most wonderful fucking thing.

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Various True Blood glasses and a coffee mug for the prop department that no one but me is allowed to drink out of forever.

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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And then the cast signed these protest posters, and you know how I love the protest posters. Just to think, Chris Bauer was here. And so was Sam Trammel's plaid shirt.

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I just can't.

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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Toad of Shame t-shirt. To find out more about said Toad of Shame see Vampire Bill's Instagram, and yes he will always be Vampire Bill to me.

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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Also, I totally failed on this one. Whose ring is this? Because it's beautiful and it's not Russell's and it's not the Authority's (their rings are black) and it's not Eric's from the pilot, because LOL I assume all of his clothes are spirited up to heaven after he dons them. So, help? UPDATE: It's a Fellowship of the Sun ring!

Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead
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Illustration for article titled emTrue Blood/em Sent Me A Box Of REAL LIFE Vampire Props And Now Im Dead

I feel like I should share this, but I'm wantonly selfish and I've already slapped so many hands at the office and screeched, "MY PRECIOUS." But maybe I can figure out a way to give away/award you guys a few things during the final episode, because stuff like this was meant to be shared. Right?

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But for now I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you very much. I'm over the moon and thank you. Just really, thank you.

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DISCUSSION

Dr Emilio Lizardo

HEY, Charlie Jane and Annalee! Meredith totally deserves a raise.