Fringe's season premiere proved, once and for all, that both Walter and Olivia are sexier in the alt-universe. But it's often true that evil duplicates are sexier than the originals. Because evil is sexy. Here are the 10 sexiest dopplegangers!
(I Dream Of Jeannie)
In the second season of this totally awesome magic-girlfriend show, Jeannie turned out to have an evil, meddling sister — who was also named Jeannie. And they were both played by Barbara Eden, just to amp up the confusion. Except that Evil Jeannie was a vampy, trampy slut, who goes around seducing another Air Force officer, named Biff, in the episode "My Sister, The Homewrecker." Everybody thinks that Jeannie is cheating on Tony, whereas it's actually her sister. Want to see how sexy Evil Jeannie could get? Check out this scene between her and Biff, where she puts on the full Zsa Zsa Purr. "That's what you think Dahhhhling."
(The Real Ghostbusters)
Okay seriously, this is just totally awesome. In The Real Ghostbusters, our heroes meet their counterparts from a universe of ghosts — the Peoplebusters, who banish people from the ghost world, using slime. Why are they sexy? Well, for starters, the Peoplebuster version of Egon is a skeleton, with a tentacle instead of the "rat-tail" part of his hair. They also carry around a backpack full of slime, with eyeballs in it. Tentacle hair and slime containment = sexy.
Doctor Who's main sidekick for the better part of a decade, the Brigadier had an upper lip so stiff, it even had a thick mustache as an extra stiffener. But you just knew that under all of that British reserve was a hot cauldron of passion. And soon enough, we met the Brigade Leader, with his sexy eyepatch and rampaging fury. And 100 percent less mustache. He's sexy in that Sylvia Plath, "Every woman adores a fascist" sort of way, and he gets all the best lines. Like when the Doctor says he doesn't exist in the Brigade Leader's alternate world, and he replies, "Then you won't feel the bullets when we shoot you." Zing!
(Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)
Major Kira Nerys was a total bad-ass on DS9, until they started trying to show her sensitive side. I swear to the Prophets, she cries in like every other episode of season two. So we needed to reconnect with the sex-boss side of Kira... hence the introduction of the Intendant, her evil alternate universe counterpart who dresses in shiny leather and enslaves just about everybody. She, too, eventually got toned way down, but in her first couple appearances she was the ultimate sex boss.
(The Vampire Diaries)
True, it wouldn't take much to be sexier than Elena, who's the ultimate wet blanket with the superpower of perpetual wetness and blankety fluff. Elena is like a blanket that has an infinite supply of soaking wet dogs, jumping out of ponds and wrapping themselves in her, over and over again, forever. Oh wait. Where was I? Oh yeah, Katherine. She's like the anti-Elena, bringing a burst of sexiness and naughtiness into the show — she's sort of the female Damon, actually, except less insecure. She's already made Caroline 100 percent more fun, and she looks like she's just getting started.
There's really only one thing you need to know about why K.A.R.R. is sexier than K.I.T.T.: Peter Cullen. The voice of Optimus Prime (from the Transformers cartoons) also did the voice of K.A.R.R. in at least one episode of the original series, as well as the recent reboot. That's automatically worth a few thousand sexiness points. Plus K.A.R.R. is like the meaner, sleeker prototype as compared to the dumbed down "production model," K.I.T.T.
(Justice League of America)
We already paid homage to the evil, more feathery twin of Batman yesterday — but he deserves a mention again. He's almost the equal of Batman in every way, except that he's a total sociopath, with no regard for human life. His finest moments are probably in Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's JLA: Earth 2 graphic novel, where he comes across as a classic Morrison villain, slick and unstoppable, with a kind of casual cruelty. And the clip we posted yesterday is one of the coolest Batman moments ever — as well as showing how Owlman is, just slightly, sexier.
For many of us, the full sexiness potential of Alyson Hannigan's Willow was revealed when we met her vampire counterpart, with her catchphrase "Bored now." She's the more gothy, impetuous, sadistic, dominatrixy version of our beloved Willow — and when they finally meet face to face, it's electrifying.
You could argue that Walternate is not technically evil — he's a mixture of good and bad, just like most people. But he's pretty darn mean, and unlike "our" Walter, he shows no self-doubt or remorse whatsoever. He's absolutely sure he's right about everything, while doing some hideously cruel things to people. But he's also the sexy-time version of Walter, with the sharp suit and the nice hair and the thin smile. He's teh alternate universe hotness, basically.
Speaking of characters who have the barely concealed passion and the repressed sexual dynamism — Spock is top of the list when it comes to sexy repression, so it's not surprising that he's also top of the list when it comes to sexy alter egos. The beard really works, giving him a sort of "mean daddy" intensity, and the way he is so cruel and yet so polite when he asks for your Agonizer... There's a good reason why Kirk didn't want to use the Tantalus Device on Mirror Spock, let's just say.
Honorable mention: Serena from Bewitched. She wasn't really that evil, just way too mod. And she rocks out:
Note: We already did a round-up of the most ridiculous evil twins, back in January 2009. But it's important to celebrate the sexiness, as well as the silliness, of evil twins.
Thanks to Dave Goldberg for suggesting vampire Willow!