TL;DR Versions Of Bible Stories Are Perfect

Illustration for article titled TL;DR Versions Of Bible Stories Are Perfect

Over on /r/Christianity, Cabbagetroll has written some comically concise summaries of stories from the Bible's Old and New Testaments.


Here's the Book of Genesis:

God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.

Adam & Eve: Okay.

Satan: You should do the thing.

Adam & Eve: Okay.

God: What happened!?

Adam & Eve: We did the thing.

God: *Guys*

And the rest of the Old Testament:

God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.

People: We won't do the things.

God: Good.

People: We did the things.

God: *Guys*

More at /r/Christianity

H/t Russ!

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The New Testament: A rabbi from a small town thinks his religion has lost its way, and thus walk the country telling people that the world would be so much better if we made an effort and just got along. Then he is killed, and his followers proceed to do the exact opposite of what he said.