Three of the Greediest Planet-Eating Bastards Ever Created

Now that we've all given up on any pretense at a New Year's diet, it's time to celebrate some of the hungriest people in science fiction: Those so hungry, they could eat an entire planet. Not for these fine folk, the questionable pleasures of a Burger King Whopper or espresso chocolate chip cookie or several; instead, they'd rather slurp up every appetizing mortal-filled morsel in the universe. Those who want to feel thin should applaud our hierarchically-organized list of the three greediest bastards ever created.

#3: The Doomsday Machine: Okay, so this danger from a 1967 episode of Star Trek isn't exactly a person as much as a giant machine that consumes planets to fuel its own destructive rampage, but dude! Consuming planets! One of Trek's better fear-of-technology menaces, this particular planet eater gains extra points for destroying an entire starship and, according to a novel written more than twenty years later by Peter David, having been created to destroy Next Generation villains the Borg by a whole race of Whoopi Goldbergs.


#2: Unicron: Only one man could properly portray the voice of a planet that transforms into a robot that eats planets - self-loathing much? - and that man had to be Orson Welles, ending his career with a suitable bookend to his Citizen Kane start with his last ever role in 1986's Transformers: The Movie. If you were twelve years old when the movie came out then Unicron was possibly the greatest evil Transformer ever, mostly because of the fact that he made shitty old Megatron into the Leonard Nimoy-voiced Galvatron. More proof that he was awesome came in the fact that it took toymakers seventeen years to come up with a toy that measured up to fans' expectations. But even Unicron is just a pale imitation of...

#1: Galactus: Easily the biggest and best of sci-fi's planet eaters, Galactus' victory comes from the fact that - unlike Unicron or the Doomsday Machine - he isn't a robot but an honest-to-goodness force of nature. The sole survivor of a pre-Big Bang universe, the Fantastic Four's largest enemy may have been killed more than once in various stories since his 1966 first appearance (including being eaten by superhuman zombies in parallel world comedy Marvel Zombies), but nothing can keep a large purple-bucket-headed cosmic entity down for that long, even one given to pretentious monologues about how hungry he is.


Others may come and try to steal Galactus' crown but, really, who even remembers DC Comics' Imperiex, even if he does call himself "the devourer of galaxies"? Exactly. Created by comic greats Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, Galactus is proof that sometimes, the biggest threat really is the best. But what about the rest of you? Is there another villain of planetary appetite that should be added to the list?

The Doomsday Machine [Star]
Unicron [Teletraan 1]
Galactus [Marvel]


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