This Week's TV: What's worse than your online dating avatar coming to life? When it dates your friend's mom.

Illustration for article titled This Weeks TV: Whats worse than your online dating avatar coming to life? When it dates your friends mom.

Community is back! And so are Vampire Diaries and Supernatural. There is much rejoicing, as well as cursed-shoe-induced dancing. Also on this week's TV, there are two zany leprechaun movies airing on the same night. Data himself, Brent Spiner, is playing an entire robot army! Plus discover the most embarrassing thing that can happen when your online dating profile achieves independent sentience.

Click through for clips from this week's episodes of Alcatraz, Supernatural, Being Human, Vampire Diaries, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and more.

Top image: Leprechaun's Revenge.


Alcatraz (8 PM, FOX):
We're getting the episode that was originally scheduled to run two weeks ago, "Clarence Montgomery" — about the man who was innocent of the charges that sent him to Alcatraz, but is now committing similar crimes for real in the present. On the one hand, that's a great theme — on the other, yes, it does prove that this show's episodes can basically air in any order. Watch a sneak peek above.

Being Human (9 PM, Syfy):
Another week, another random pop-song title: "When I Think About You, I Shred Myself." Here's what happens:

Josh's best friend returns from the dead and Aidan breaks the rules by bringing ailing Vampire Henry to the house to recuperate. Meanwhile, Sally's confrontation with the Reaper rocks her to her core.


Here's a sneak peek!

Lost Girl (10 PM, Syfy):
It's "Fae Day." Here's hoping that means there'll be a parade with streamers and stuff. Also, we learn the truth about Trick, and Bo has to unravel a huge mystery.

Science Special: Journey to the Center of the Earth (10 PM, Science):
Get your Jules Verne on with this new one-hour special, in which we find out just how many dinosaurs there really are at the Earth's core. It's probably still going to be more plausible than The Core.


Level Up! (8 PM, Cartoon Network):
If you only watch one episode of this show in which virtual stuff comes to life in reality, this might be the one — because here's the plot synopsis: "Max's online dating persona leaks into the real world and dates Dante's mom." Doesn't that sound kind of amazing?

The River (9 PM, ABC):
Are we getting close to finding Dr. Emmett Cole for real? Let's hope so, since there are only two episodes left of this "found footage" series, and we're unlikely to get a second season based on this show's ratings thus far. In this episode, they're stalked by "a cannibalistic terror" as they explore an abandoned research station. And meanwhile, Kurt is faced with a heavy sacrifice.


Science Special: Alien Encounters: The Message (10 PM, Science):
In lieu of a new Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman, we get this delightful-sounding show in which we discover that aliens have been, like, trying to communicate with us for just ages.


Voltron Force and Iron Man: Armored Adventures (8 PM, NickToons):
In "Dradin, Baby, Dradin," Nick makes some Voltron Force fanvids, which the Voltron crew are less than excited by. And then on Iron Man, we're doing the "Extremis" storyline. Could be decent, you never know. Watch a clip here.


South Park and Ugly Americans (10 PM, Comedy Central):
South Park's 16th season begins with "Reverse Cowgirl," in which one of the boys leaves the toilet seat up, and his mom falls in and gets stuck. And then in the season premiere of Ugly Americans, in which "Mark takes a tiny arsonist named Jerry (Bobby Moynihan) into his custody and immediately regrets it. Jerry escapes up Twayne's nostril, forcing Leonard, Grimes and Mark to shrink themselves down and conduct a manhunt inside Twayne's bizarre body."


Community (8 PM, NBC):
Yes, this show is miraculously back on the airwaves — for now, at least. Here's what to expect:

Andre (guest star Malcolm Jamal Warner, ("The Cosby Show," "Reed Between The Lines") proposes that he and Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown) remarry and a wedding date is set. Britta (Gillian Jacobs) and Annie (Alison Brie) get busy planning the wedding and Jeff (Joel McHale) prepares to give a wedding speech - while Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) get ready to be "normal" for the occasion. Meanwhile, Pierce (Chevy Chase) and Shirley pitch a sandwich shop idea to Dean Pelton (Jim Rash) for the Greendale cafeteria.

The Vampire Diaries (8 PM, The CW):
Yes, this show is back, and the mystery of the murder spree is deepening. Here's the official blurb:

The present-day murders in Mystic Falls remind Damon (Ian Somerhalder) of a similar crime spree a century earlier. In flashbacks to 1912, Damon recalls a beautiful vampire, Sage (guest star Cassidy Freeman), who showed him a whole new way to exist. Sheriff Forbes (Marguerite MacIntyre) warns Damon not to get involved in her investigation, but Damon is convinced she's going after the wrong suspect. Elena (Nina Dobrev) and Matt (Zach Roerig) resort to breaking and entering in their search for evidence to prove Dr. Fell (guest star Torrey Devitto) is a murderer. For reasons known only to her, Rebekah (guest star Claire Holt), becomes interested in locating one of the town's oldest landmarks. Finally, Elena comes to a new understanding of the path her life has taken, and Damon makes an emotional confession to Stefan (Paul Wesley).


Check out a clip! And that's followed at 9 PM by a new Secret Circle, where Cassie confronts her dad.

Awake (10 PM, NBC):
It looks like this show's questions about Britten's sanity are going to kick into high gear already, judging from the blurb for "Guilty":

Detective Michael Britten's (Jason Isaacs) two worlds spin out of control when his son Rex (Dylan Minnette) is kidnapped by an escaped convict, Cooper (Clifton Powell), a man Britten arrested 10-years ago. In his other reality, Hannah (Laura Allen) is upset that Britten cannot attend an event honoring their deceased son because he is tracking down a missing teenage boy. Clues from both worlds lead to a confrontation that calls Britten's sanity into question.


Archer (10 PM, FX):
In "Space Race, Part 1,"

Archer and his colleagues at ISIS voyage to the final frontier in an effort to prevent a catastrophe on the International Space Station.



Star Wars: The Clone Wars (8 PM, Cartoon Network):
It's the season finale, and the culmination of the "Darth Maul Returns" storyline. In "Revenge,"

Savage and Maul, now reunited, pursue Obi-Wan Kenobi in search of revenge, and the Jedi Knight finds himself forced to unite with a surprising ally to defend against the deadly siblings.


And "Savage and Maul" is now the greatest speed-metal band name ever.

Supernatural (9 PM, The CW):
This show is back, after an all-new Nikita at 8 PM. And this time, the Winchesters are coping with... magic shoes? Urk. Yes, the gimmicky plots just keep coming. A ballerina dances herself to death, and the cause turns out to be cursed ballet slippers — and then Dean accidentally gets hit with the deadly dancing curse. Here's a clip!


Also at 10 PM Friday: a new (to Americans) episode of Merlin on Syfy.


DC Nation (10 AM, Cartoon Network):
On Green Lantern, "Hal and Kilowog are forced to fight their enemies with their captive and former Red Lantern, Razer." And on Young Justice, Miss Martian has to face her fears in a mission against Queen Bee. Plus there are awesome shorts!


My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (1 PM, The Hub):
In "Dragon Quest," "Spike joins the Great Dragon Migration to discover his true identity, but it might not be what he really needs."

Chasing Leprechauns (8 PM, The Hallmark Channel):
Let's hope you've got some Bushmills Irish Whiskey handy — there are two leprechaun movies airing on Saturday evening. In this Hallmark Channel film, "Adrian Pasdar ("Heroes," "The Lying Game") is a corporate fixer who travels to a small town in Ireland and must gain approval from the local pixie expert, Amy Huberman ("The Clinic") before he can close a deal on a proposed job site believed to be inhabited by leprechauns." You know that neither of these leprechaun movies is going to live up to Leprechaun in Space.


Leprechaun's Revenge (9 PM, Syfy):
And then there's this. In this Syfy Original Movie, "days before the annual St. Patrick's Day parade, a teenage girl unwittingly unleashes a murderous leprechaun upon the citizens of a small town. The creature goes on a violent rampage, slaughtering descendants of the original settlers who stole its gold. Now the girl and her family have four days to kill the leprechaun - otherwise she will die from the leprechaun curse." It would be pretty amusing to keep switching channels back and forth between Hallmark and Syfy and pretend they're two parts of the same movie.

Being Human (9 PM, BBC America):
In episode four, "A Spectre Calls," "Kirby, a ghost from the 1970s, comes to stay at Honolulu Heights. But is he friend or foe?"



Animation Domination (7:30 PM, Fox):
The Simpsons continues its recent trend of having crazy science fiction storylines and references. In "Them, Robot," Mr. Burns replaces all of the employees at the power plant with robots (all voiced by Star Trek's Brent Spiner) — except for Homer. And of course, the robots turn on their human masters, because what else do robots ever do? And on The Family Guy, Peter, Joe, Brian and Quagmire discover their memories have been erased and the town is deserted.

Frozen Planet (8 PM, Discovery):
Alec Baldwin narrates this Discovery Channel/BBC co-production that's taken four years to complete, from the team that brought us Planet Earth. On Sunday, you can watch the first two hours back to back. Here's what the series is about:

FROZEN PLANET will provide the ultimate portrait of our earth's polar regions, where the scale and beauty of the scenery and sheer power of the natural elements are unlike anywhere else on the planet. To capture nature's majestic power - as well as its ultimate fragility - FROZEN PLANET's filmmakers utilized the latest cinematographic techniques and technology to capture groundbreaking imagery both above and below the ice in some of the most extreme and remote regions of our planet. The series' seventh episode, hosted on camera by British naturalist David Attenborough, will investigate what rising temperatures will mean for the people and wildlife that live there - and for the rest of the planet.

Once Upon a Time (8 PM, ABC):
It's "Heart of Darkness" — yes, we're doing Joseph Conrad now, probably with crazy bird costumes. Mary Margaret gets arrested for David's murder — and she hires Mr. Gold as her attorney, because why not. And in the fairytale realm, Snow White's mind is deranged by Rumplestiltskin's potion, and she's going to kill the Evil Queen unless Prince Charming stops her.

The Walking Dead (9 PM, AMC):
There have been a lot of shocking deaths lately, but there's no chance to mourn in the second season finale. Rick and Carl return from the woods to find the farm in jeopardy — and Rick's leadership is questioned, as the farm is about to be overrun. And the group gets split up. All in all, sounds like another lovely day in the zombie apocalypse. Here's a sneak peek.


Sources: Futon Critic, MSN TV, TV Guide, and various TV studio press releases.

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Cursing at the Astronette

The fact that Fox is prepared to air out of order an episode of Alcatraz, which, supposedly at least, has a story arc and some continuity, suggests they either don't think much of the show's or the viewers' intelligence, or both.

There's some doubts about the sanity of the Awake guy? No, really?