This Week's TV: Constantine Is Back!

Illustration for article titled This Week's TV: Constantine Is Back!

What does this week’s TV have in store? TWO Star Wars shows! THREE zombie shows! And FOUR DC Comics superhero shows! Plus the first episode of the mysterious Agent X, and Doctor Who’s wildest cliffhanger gets resolved. All of that, in This Week’s TV!


Gotham (8PM, FOX)

“Butch leads Penguin and his men to the warehouse where Gertrude is being held, as Penguin plots his revenge on Galavan for kidnapping his mother. Meanwhile, Nygma deals with the aftermath of a deadly accident.”


The Penguin rescuing Gertrude sounds supremely entertaining, but what’s Nygma going to do with Ms. Kringle?

Supergirl (8PM, CBS)

“When Kara’s attempts to help National City don’t go according to plan, she must put aside the doubts that she - and the city’s media - has about her abilities in order to capture an escapee from the Kryptonian prison, Fort Rozz. Also, Cat pressures James to use his connection to Superman to get her an interview with Supergirl.”

For more information on Fort Rozz, consult the excellent Phantom Zone miniseries by Steve Gerber & Gene Colan!


Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales: Gambit on Geonosis (9PM, DISNEY XD)

“C-3PO and R2-D2 are imprisoned in the Geonosis Battledroid factory. In an attempt to escape, C-3PO tries to distract Stormtroopers by telling them about their adventures in “Return of the Jedi.”


By the looks of that promo, C-3PO is leading with Endor’s forest moon! Geonosians would be far more interested in the sarlacc...

Minority Report (9PM, FOX)

“Dash endeavors to investigate a murder on his own, but when things don’t go as planned, Vega is forced to reluctantly recruit Arthur and his underworld connections to help out Dash. “


Danger-prone Dash gets himself kidnapped! If nothing else, ‘Arthur and his Underworld’ has a beautiful ring to it.

Blindspot (10PM, NBC)

“One of Jane’s (Jaimie Alexander) tattoos sends the team to a remote location where they find themselves face to face with a dangerous criminal in a case that puts Jane and Weller’s (Sullivan Stapleton) strained relationship to the test and threatens to expose Mayfair’s (Marianne Jean-Baptiste) secrets.”


And I thought I wrote long sentences!


Flash (8PM, CW)

“Barry learns a new breacher, Dr. Light, has come through the portal and sets off to capture her. Jay tells Barry that Dr. Light was not a threat on Earth-2 and that Barry can reason with her. However, during a fight with The Flash, she blinds him and drops some shocking news about Zoom.”


Harrison Wells threateningly tightens his backpack in the next Flash!

Muppets (8PM, ABC)

“Kermit is scrambling to find the perfect birthday gift for Denise, so he turns to Miss Piggy for help. Meanwhile, Kristin Chenoweth agrees to do a gig with The Electric Mayhem and inadvertently causes a rift between the band.”


Kermit: the worst?

iZombie (9PM, CW)

“Liv, Detective Babineaux and Ravi investigate the mysterious death of a peewee basketball coach. Liv, consumed with overzealous coach brains, gives Major a much needed pep talk. “


Expect a joke about zombies dribbling.

Scream Queens (9PM, FOX)

Ariana Grande returns! This may be preempted by the World Series, so sit tight.

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (9PM, ABC)

“The stakes get even higher as Hunter and May continue to go after Ward and Hydra, and Daisy and Coulson begin to suspect that the ATCU may be keeping a big secret from S.H.I.E.L.D.”


I hope this turns out to be the remake of Death Wish 2, 4 or 5 it sounds like it could be. Ming-Na Wen was our first Chun-Li, and our best Chun-Li.

Limitless (10PM, CBS)

“When Brian calls in sick for a day off from the FBI, the CIA abducts him from home to borrow his NZT-enhanced capabilities for a black ops mission. As the operation becomes increasingly dangerous, Brian finds himself without FBI support in a situation that’s spiraling out of control.”


You can’t take sick days in the new economy, Brian!


Arrow (8PM, CW)

“When things take a turn for the worse with Sara, Oliver calls in a favor from an old friend who deals in the mystical, John Constantine.”


Crossover from a canceled series on a different network! Is that unprecedented? Good to see Constantine still refuses to wear a tie correctly.

Supernatural (9PM, CW)

“Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) investigate a series of murders at a local B&B that also happens to be Lizzie Borden’s old home.”


Oh no!

Star Wars Rebels: Brothers of the Broken Horn (9PM, DISNEY XD)

Fan-favorite Hondo Ohnaka makes his debut from the Clone Wars series! Now, individuality is so secondary to Weequay culture they do not often take proper names—but not our Hondo! This is a Weequay for our times. And still voiced by Jim “Darkwing Duck” Cummings.


American Horror Story: Hotel (10PM, FX)

“Alex uses an unconventional treatment to save a dying patient. A Halloween-hating couple tests Iris’s limits.”


Madchen Amick guest stars!


The Vampire Diaries (8PM, CW)

“After realizing the downward spiral he was on, Damon (Ian Somerhalder) decides he’s going to turn over a new leaf and that his actions moving forward will do right by Elena. Lily (guest star Annie Wersching) prepares for the arrival of a special figure from her past, while Enzo (Michael Malarkey) stands by not sure what to expect. Elsewhere, at Caroline’s (Candice King) urging, Stefan (Paul Wesley) comes face-to-face with Valerie (guest star Elizabeth Blackmore) and learns some upsetting details about her past, while Enzo and Bonnie (Kat Graham) find themselves at odds when they’re forced to fend off a violent threat. Finally, when Bonnie learns some disturbing information involving the Phoenix stone, she is forced to confront Alaric (Matt Davis).”


This won’t be a “gateway” episode for new viewers, to say the least.

The Originals (9PM, CW)

“As the war among the sire lines continues to grow, Klaus (Joseph Morgan) receives an unexpected visit by a figure from his past. When Elijah (Daniel Gillies) suspects that Tristan (guest star Oliver Auckland) is hiding something, he enlists Marcel’s (Charles Michael Davis) help to find out what he’s up to. Elsewhere, Davina (Danielle Campbell) struggles with her role as Regent and seeks advice from Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin). Finally, an ancient secret that is uncovered threatens to tear the Mikaelson brothers apart for good.“


Electric slide guitar is very bizarre, when set against medieval vampires.

Sleepy Hollow (9PM, FOX)

“When Pandora unleashes an iconic monster to haunt the residents of Sleepy Hollow as they sleep, Abbie and Jenny are tempted to confront a painful part of their past. Meanwhile, Abbie makes a crucial decision for her career and Crane does his best to guide her with wisdom from his own experiences. Will Ichabod lead Abbie to the right decision?”


An “iconic monster”? Does that mean something from the Universal bullpen, or do they have high hopes for action figures?

Haven (10PM, SYFY)

“Nathan receives otherworldly help as he works to track down a terrifying killer; and Duke reaches a crossroads after he has an alarming vision of Haven’s future.”


Only six episodes remaining for Syfy’s other “long running yet unceremoniously buried” series.


Grimm (9PM, NBC)

“On the heels of becoming a new father, Nick (David Giuntoli) must make some major changes to keep his child and Adalind (Claire Coffee) safe. Monroe (Silas Weir Mitchell) and Rosalee (Bree Turner) step in to help prepare for the new addition. Meanwhile, Capt. Renard (Sasha Roiz) assigns Hank (Russell Hornsby) a new partner as they investigate a brutal murder at an investment group.”


Z Nation (10PM, SYFY)

“Mysterious things happen during a drive through RoZwell, N.M., where the team encounter bright lights in the sky and a beautiful but spacey woman who leads them on an adventure in search of zombie aliens.”


Zombie aliens!

Tim & Eric’s Bedtime Stories: Sauce Boy (11:30PM, CARTOON)

Tim & Eric’s horror-comedy returns! Who will be the heir to an evil sauce empire? Following a new Black Jesus.



Henry Danger (8PM, NICK)

A 35-minute Groundhog Day episode—Nickelodeon promises they will never again air these five precious extra minutes.


Doctor Who (9PM, BBC AMERICA)

How are they going to write themselves out of this one?!

Svengoolie Presents Tanrantula (10PM, MeTV)


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (11AM, NICK)

Dwight Shultz debuts as the weird Wyrm! No promo, but here’s a commercial for his old action figure. The new version will be like TMNT’s own Mr. Mxyzptlk.


The Librarians (8PM, TNT)

Guest-starring Butch from Gotham!

Agent X (9PM, TNT)

Two-hour series premiere! TNT takes on the super-soldier genre, and we can’t wait to see the results!


Walking Dead (9PM, AMC)

The Last Man on Earth (9:30PM, FOX)

Tandy and Todd attempt to solve an end-of-the-world power problem— and Phil punches Phil!


Share This Story

Get our `newsletter`


Constantine and Arrow.

If you don’t mind, I’m gonna be over this corner, hyperventilating in awe and glee until wednesday.