My thoughts, in order, upon viewing this drone footage of a “giant intake vortex” in an Oklahoma waterway: Hey, cool, a vortex! Wow, it is, indeed, giant looking. Big enough to swallow a person, surely. What would that be like? Dreadful, I bet. Wait, why am I sweating? Oh god. Oh god, it’s looking at me.

“Here’s a very unique view of an intake vortex, created as water enters the Denison Dam spillway on Lake Texoma,” writes the US Army Corps of Engineers, Tulsa District, which posted the video on YouTube. But how big is it? Big enough to suck down a hapless human? Oh, lord, yes—and then some: “The vortex is approximately 8 feet in diameter and capable of sucking in a full-sized boat, so please heed all safety buoys and caution signs.”

Consider them heeded! For anyone in need of further discouragement, have a look at this photo of one of the dam’s intakes. It, too, is giant. What’s that? More deterrence? Here, have a creepily narrated video on Delta-P, a diving risk I never knew existed until five minutes ago, and now fear totally:

[usacetulsa via Boing Boing + /r/videos]


Contact the author at rtgonzalez@io9.com and @rtg0nzalez.

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