AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Photo: Mezco
Toys and CollectiblesAction figures, statues, exclusives, and other merchandise. Beware: if you look here, you’re probably going to spend some money afterwards.  

Look, there’s a reason why, when Genndy Tartakovsky was going to make a CG Popeye movie, he went for a 3D recreation of the classic cartoon art. The world is not—and arguably never will be—prepared for Realistic Popeye, as this action figure amazingly, terrifyingly shows.

We’ve long been fans of Mezco’s spectacular One:12 line of highly poseable, lovingly rendered 1:12 figures—it’s one of the few ranges of action figures that can get fabric costumes on small-scale figures, especially in the Spandex-heavy world of superhero toys, so right and with such loving detail. But the line’s been branching out beyond superheroic antics for a while, and perhaps a little too much love was put into this hyper-realistic take on Popeye. Because oh god, I can’t stop looking at the giant ball joins in his freakishly oversized wrist.

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Never has a can of spinach being crushed actually looked this intimidating before.
Photo: Mezco

The gurning face sculpt is both incredible and awful at the same time, but really, it’s the arms that are the most disconcerting aspect of this whole thing. Trying to put the unrealistic proportions of a spinached-up Popeye into something trying to resemble an actual human being is eerie as hell. Especially with the bizarrely detailed flesh tone all over them. These forearms are just downright haunting.

Pipes! Hats! Hands! Spinach! Oh my.
Image: Mezco

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Aside from being terrifying, Mezco’s Popeye comes with swappable hats and clothing to depict the character either in his more iconic sailor suit or wrapped up in a peacoat, as well as pipes in various stages of being smoked, and not one, but two cans of spinach: crushed and uncrushed. So really, all Popeye possibilities are on the table, scenarios just waiting to be rendered in creepily realistic detail.

Should you not be completely horrified by Realistic Popeye, Mezco currently has him available for preorder for $80, ahead of a release late this year.

[Toyark]

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