Things Bones McCoy Is Not, Ranked

Illustration for article titled Things Bones McCoy Is Not, Ranked

Leonard McCoy is famous for many things. Mostly announcing that someone is dead and insulting Spock in ways that seem awfully xenophobic for Star Trek. He also famous for explaining, angrily, that he is a doctor and literally nothing else. Here it is, the definitive ranking of things that Dr. McCoy is not.


This list includes both things that the original McCoy is not and things that the Kelvin Universe McCoy is not. It does not include other Starfleet doctors saying what they aren’t.

For those who can’t watch the video:

10) Scientist or physicist (“Metamorphosis” Incidentally, it is worrying that McCoy, a medical doctor, doesn’t think he’s a scientist.)


9) Psychiatrist (“City on the Edge of Forever”)

8) Engineer (“Mirror, Mirror”)

7) Mechanic (“The Doomsday Machine” “The Empath”)

6) Torpedo Technician (Into Darkness)

5) Magician (“The Deadly Years”)

4) Bricklayer (“The Devil in the Dark”)

3) Coal Miner (“The Empath”)

2) Moon-shuttle conductor (“Corbomite Maneuver”)

1) Escalator (“Friday’s Child”)

Katharine is the former managing editor of io9.

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Our local UHF TV station, Channel 29, used to run ads for Star Trek inviting you to watch the Amazing ‘Bones’ McCoy! “He’s a bricklayer!” “Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a bricklayer!” “He’s an escalator!” “Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not an escalator!” “And he can shuttle traffic to the moon!” “What am I, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor?”

It was a great little ad. Someone probably got a better job somewhere else as a result of it. (A second ad touted Spock, “the Vulcan who knew how to party,” featuring clips of every single time he ever showed emotion set to Information Society music.)