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These vintage postcards would nowadays pass for threats by mail

Illustration for article titled These vintage postcards would nowadays pass for threats by mail

The postcard today is primarily an atavistic vacation novelty, but prior generations used these paper rectangles to convey a whole host of emotions.

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That said, it's not always clear what emotions the following postcards were meant to impart, but good gravy, are they sinister, weird, or weirdly sinister. I'm pretty sure all of them were available for purchase at the Twin Peaks post office. Let's start with the top image, which was sent to negligent children who missed Sunday school.

Illustration for article titled These vintage postcards would nowadays pass for threats by mail
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This mid-1900s postcard is either an advertisement for Mooseheart, Illinois or an invitation to worship a death god who dresses like an Oldsmobile dealer.

Illustration for article titled These vintage postcards would nowadays pass for threats by mail

I like the passive-aggressive implications of this early 1900s card, namely that you were stoned as shit when you sent it.

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Who told what so? The bear? Is the bear talking?

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Remember, there was a halcyon era when Las Vegas held atomic test watching parties.

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In 1914 in Elgin, Minnesota, rictus grins were the go-to fashion accessory.

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A postcard from Pennsylvania, 1907. If a couple ever rejected their bundle of joy, the stork presumably deposited it in Elgin, Minnesota.

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This early 1900s French postcard — intentionally or not — hearkens back to the 1300s. Seriously.

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A postcard from 1910. The earliest Transformers were really weird.

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In 1941, your ideal love mate also wore a skin suit made of drifters.

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I guess this is the much bleaker, early 1900s version of those Señor Frog's t-shirts.

Illustration for article titled These vintage postcards would nowadays pass for threats by mail
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I hear the creation of the world is rather temperate in late April. For more mind-boggling postcards, check out Wacky Stuff's marvelous Flickr set.

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DISCUSSION

worldgreatestgirl
worldgreatestgirl

In a hundred years, people will see her and be dumbfounded trying to explain hair.