Last week, we tasked you with celebrating the release of The Force Awakens by trying to match the movie’s completely bizarre and overwhelming array of tie-in products. The results are in, and from what I can tell, io9 readers love bad puns and going a little lewd (which is why we love you). Check ‘em out!

And yes, some of these nearer the end might be a bit NSFW for your morning browsing. You’ve been warned!


First off, you can see Pessimippopotamus’ fantastic Vader grill (complete with toasted Hayden Christensen!) above, leading the charge in what was some very silly punnage. Like this The Force A’Bacons pack from DrewPew, proving that bad puns are usually the best ones:

Food was a popular choice, as C.T. Rex Pope treated us to a little Yub Nub grub... would you try it?

Not gonna lie. I’d probably eat several of Drewpy’s Crossguard Hotdogs, because I apparently I hate myself and my insides.

Kevindougl also went down the flame-grilled Anakin Skywalker route, opting for an homage to those black-bunned burgers from The Phantom Menace’s 3D re-release:

While Citizen-Dick imagined some product placement within the movie itself. Too bad the scene got cut!

Beyond the world of Star Wars eating, Lorin imagined the greatest horror the galaxy far, far away has ever seen: Space Donald Trump.

“They’re okie day!” will make me laugh every time, ComedyofErrs. Every time.

Moldywarp69 took the Spaceballs flamethrower to the next level—sorry, Knights of the Old Republic, this is the best Star Wars RPG now.

Yourspacelawyer imagined an unfortunate alternative for that look on Finn’s face in all the trailers.

Then you guys got weird, which is always fun! Dystopika imagined the world of fully armed and operational women’s medicine.

Quirked combined puns with lewdness, creating the ultimate io9 ‘shop:

Punny Name gave Darth Vader exactly what he needed:

But it was Pessimippopotamus who went the most full on, with that mentally-scarring Jar Jar Binks lollipop from The Phantom Menace.

Oh my.

Good job, everyone! But maybe commenter Stormcastle was right—and no matter how silly you try to think, sometimes you can’t beat honest-to-god real Star Wars products:

I hope I spend the rest of my days blissfully ignorant of whatever “Jedi Jelly” looked like. Ew.