The Shiniest Stories on io9 Last Week

Illustration for article titled The Shiniest Stories on io9 Last Week

Trapped in the cooler by Bigfoot hunters all week? Don't worry, we've compiled a list of the best stories of the week, just for you. You Could Become Batman, Says Scientist A Canadian scientist and lifelong Batman aficionado has examined the Dark Knight's skills and figured out how regular people could transform themselves into real-life Batmen and Batwomen in just 6 steps. Betting start training now. Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves — The Ten Most Gruesome Scifi Death SportsMaybe the Olympic Games are all about fostering world peace and crap like that, but we know that sports of the future will be the stuff of bloody, oil-fueled nightmares. To celebrate all the sports that don't foster cross-cultural understanding, we bring you a list of the very best scifi death sports captured on film. A Memory-Erasing Chemical That Can Change Your Behavior Memory is one of the main reasons why drug addicts who have gone sober suddenly find themselves jumping off the wagon. Environmental cues like visiting a place where you were high can make you remember the drug and weaken your resistance to taking it again. But now researchers have discovered a way to selectively erase "drug-associated memories" and make it easier for you to just say no to the needle, pill, or pipe. 10 Comics Creators We Wish Would Make Movies Instead Of Frank Miller We used to love Frank Miller, before his comics work turned into schlocky self-parody. But even in his prime, Frank wouldn't be our first choice to direct a semi-major Hollywood movie, so we're sad that Miller's getting his shot at the brass ring with The Spirit. We can think of ten comics creators off the top of our heads who would do a better job of helming a movie than Frank, and here they are. Hey New Lara Croft, Are Those Guns For Real? Say hello to our new Tomb Raider. Alison Carroll is a former gymnast from Croydon, which means this 23-year-old is a super bendy bad-ass. Click through for a whole mess of pictures of our new shorty-short hero kicking and punching and doing other video gamey things. Seeing pics of this lady kicking in her monster boots makes me wonder which video game vixen would win in a fight, Resident Evil Alice or Lara? Coming Soon from China: Dystopic Futures, the Next Steve Jobs, and a World Full of Drumming Androids The opening ceremony confirmed my theory that China is breeding robots. (We already know that the cute girl who performed the patriotic song was lip-syncing and that the fireworks shown on TV were fake. I'm pretty sure that the 2008 drummers who kicked off the five-hour technological spectacularity were androids, too.) But what else is up in the giant nation that many believe will be the next world superpower? I called some experts and came away with a list of five predictions for China's next half-century. 20 Things That Should Be Their Own Genres (But Aren't) One of the great mysteries of the universe is why some types of story get to repeat, with endless variations, while others just don't. How is that space opera gets to be its own genre? Or the amnesiac detective story? Or time-travel romance? Who decides that these things are genres, but some other perfectly great story ideas are denied genre status? Here are 20 things we think are way overdue to become genres of their own OMFG Bigfoot They found Bigfoot! That's right, you heard me: Bigfoot. For all you disbelievers, they have a picture to prove it as well. No, that's not the remnants of a bear with a gorilla mask thrown on top, that's Bigfoot. Ok maybe, its not. But yuck what a mess. How To Make Smallville Watchable Again As the story of Clark Kent's awkward young adult years heads into its eight year as a television show, it's time to face an even more awkward truth: Smallville kind of sucks. For the last seven years, the show has had its moments of greatness (Yay, the very existence of Chloe!) and it's moments of... well, not so greatness (Hello, almost every subplot that ever involved Lana Lang). With the show's eighth season being its first without Lana and Lex as regular cast members as well as its first without show creators Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, we'd like to take the opportunity to suggest some other changes that could make the show worth tuning in to every week. Move Over Montauk Monster: The Chupacabra Is Taking The Spotlight One dead, washed up creature has nothing on this crazy hairless Texas monster. Cuero, Texas is a hot bed for Chupacabra action. One incredibly busy police officer managed to catch a supposed chupacabra on camera from his trusty cruiser camera. One big problem: the mutant chupacabra are notoriously nocturnal creatures. You be the judge.


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