Mannequin was a cute fantasy about a window designer in a department store, who discovers that one of the mannequins comes to life. Then someone decided to make a sequel, with none of the original cast except Meshach Taylor. What could go wrong? We'll show you.

Above is the scene where the mannequin, Jessie, goes to the most exclusive nightclub in Philadelphia, where everybody dresses like gangsters and Japanese punk rockers. And Jessie, who's from the Middle Ages, discovers how people dance in the late 20th century — until she decides to teach her new boyfriend Medieval dancing. And everybody in the club starts dancing like her. Even the weird spooky fetish twins with the red wigs. EVERYBODY. And then it turns into a slow jam to the song that the movie plays every five minutes.

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Mannequin 2: On The Move came out in 1991, directed by Stewart Raffill, who also directed Ice Pirates and Mac and Me. This time around, the dummy is Jessie, played by Kristy Swanson, the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She's a peasant girl in the 10th century, who falls in love with a Prince and is cursed to be frozen for 1000 years, at which time she has to find her true love or something. It's really unclear. She's reawakened by department-store worker Jason (William Ragsdale from Fright Night and Herman's Head) who's the spitting image of Prince William.

But why bother to narrate the plot? Here's Hollywood (Meshach Taylor) narrating it in rap for you, with hip hop medieval European dancers in the foreground:

Really, this movie's theme song should be "Everybody's Gonna Stop Us Now."

So below are some of the other ridonkulous moments from this completely pointless sequel. Basically, Jessie has been brought to the fancy Philadelphia department store for some kind of exhibition, because the "statue" (mannequin, whatever) is on tour. Accompanying the statue is the evil Count, who has a scheme to sell the magic enchanted necklace that turns anyone who wears it into a statue.

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Here's the scene where Jessie has just awakened, and she tells a guy she's just met that she loves him:

Because Meshach Taylor (from Designing Women) was the only castmember from the first movie to return, he gets a much, much bigger role this time around. And he basically camps it the fuck up as the most over-the-top gay stereotype I've seen in ages. At one point, he's wearing glasses that are basically forks. He is constantly trying to turn the department store's high-class fancy events into hip-hop dancing showcases, and he loves loves loves a man in uniform.

Here's the scene where Meshach accidentally puts on the magic necklace:

So the evil Count is trying to get his hands on the mannequin and her necklace, and meanwhile the uptight department store boss is doing video dating (why? Who knows?) And the Count's men stop dressing like Eastern European thugs and start wearing bring neon-colored spandex outfits, because it's 1991.

And here's the obligatory (being chased through the department store on a go-kart) scene: