Wonderland tied up a few lose ends by randomly linking characters again this week. Which was unsurprising, but still interesting. Then the chick from The Ring showed up, in a well.

Spoilers ahead.

I think I've nailed down the thing that bothers me on this show. How ludicrously convenient everything is — even though the entire show is set in a world that is based on wonder and nonsense. Case in point: In this episode, Cyrus reveals that in order to save his brothers who are (SURPRISE) also genies, they have to go to the Well of Wonders from Agrabah. To which another character in Wonderland responds, "Well of Wonders. NO PROBLEM, WE HAVE 12 OF THEM HERE." Of course you do, Wonderland. Of course you do.


So they make the convenient trek to the convenient well which allocates just enough time for Wonderland to flash back and reveal Cyrus' backstory. Which, thank goodness, was not all that bad. So let's get to it.

Cyrus, pre-Genie days, was all "HA HA HA life is grand! Rules do not apply to me!" Silly Cyrus, rules apply to all people who think rules don't apply to them. Rules don't apply to villains and heroes, plots and everything else on this show. But to you Cyrus, you who laughs at rules, you're about to get fucked by rules big time.

Naturally, things to not go well for the boy who chucks his beautiful hair back into the air and says "LOL Rules!" In retaliation, fate burns down Cyrus' house with this mother still in it. Womp Womp.


Naturally Cyrus and his brothers go on a quest to find the well of wonders, which is really not that special as it apparently exists everywhere. There they ask for some magic water to save their mother from dying from her terrible burns. The Ring girl comes out of the well and says no. But if you didn't already know, the rules? They don't apply to Cyrus. So he takes the water anyway, RULES BE DAMNED, and saves his mother. Then The Ring girl turns Cyrus and his brothers into genies. Uh oh!

Sidenote: One of Cyrus' brothers is played by Raza Jaffrey. Who also acted as the terrible, no good, Dev Sundaram from Smash. And dear me, he is so so so so so so fine. SO FINE.


I just felt like that was important to state.

MOVING ON. So the big reveal here is that Jafar's mentor and hot Wizard lover that turned into the staff is actually Cyrus's mum.


Sidenote: Actress Zuleikha Robinson is the beginning and end of beauty.

So Amara, Cyrus, and Jafar are all kind of related. Or at least Jafar is that terrible boyfriend who calls Cyrus "Heeeeey You" and buys him overly expensive gifts—like an Xbox or something. Because Jafar works too hard, and he's too tired, and he never really wanted kids in the first place. But somehow here he is, with these kids, and he doesn't want to be a dick but... Jesus, just be quiet for like 10 fucking minutes, OK?


And so there you have it. In other Wonderland news the Queen buckled hard under Sexerwocky torture. And I loved it. It was nice to see a character completely and totally fail at the task before them. The Queen is starting to get to me, now that she has a personality grander than "I want Genie, sexy sex sex baby chick lips."

This surprised me. It was great to watch the Queen try and validate herself to her people, and her love, and just bellyflop mentally. Well done here. I'm interested to see if this will screw with her relationship with The Knave. Who knows, it really could. I would be pretty pissed if someone wished for their jewels over something smarter, but who knows what Sexerwock torture is like. Which... just, God, that character. No me gusta Sexerwock.


Until next week, may you all be sexerwocked respectfully.

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