Give me badass magical assassins in leather all the time please.
Photo: Jack Rowand (The CW)

While most of the Arrowverse is dealing with some Trading Places situation—also Batwoman is there somewhere—DC’s Legends of Tomorrow is busy trying to fix time itself. From a mess... they created.

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The midseason finale of Legends of Tomorrow, “Legends of To-Meow-Meow,” is a story only the Legends could tell. It’s all about John Constantine and Charlie—along with an adorable kitty cat version of Zari—trying to fix the timeline after Constantine changed history so his boyfriend wouldn’t get dragged to hell. John’s actions caused a cataclysmic chain of events that seemingly only affected the Legends and those directly in their sphere—hence why they’re not involved in this year’s Elseworlds crossover.

At one point, we do hear about the events going on in the rest of the Arrowverse. Technically. In one of the alternate timelines, Nate and his team of magical fighter bros are told that they missed urgent calls from Barry, Oliver, and Kara. Nate replies: “Must be another crossover” before telling Gideon they’re not interested. The fourth wall has no place on Legends of Tomorrow.

The only thing that could save the real timeline would be for Constantine to go back and make things right with his boyfriend, Desmond, but John wants to save his love and Charlie doesn’t want to give up her shapeshifting powers. So instead, they try to go back and fix one problem at a time in an attempt to plug all the holes in the “timey wimey” dam (thanks for the Doctor Who reference, Ava!). As Thomas F. Wilson’s Biff Tannen would say, that’s like putting a screen door on a battleship.

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That’s screen door on a submarine, butthead.
Photo: Jack Rowand (The CW)

The episode is an entertaining romp through a series of television parodies, including The A-Team, Charlie’s Angels, and The Muppets. It was all crazy, all ridiculous, and all fun. It was delightful watching Ray try to be a badass, bandana-wearing murderer when it’s clear he just wants a cup of hot cocoa. And I loved how the puppet versions of the Legends continually got distracted by things like “The Number 3”—especially after learning the Fairy Godmother had turned them into puppets after teaming up with Rory. Forget Charlie, make the godmother a Legend. She’s got a machine gun. She’s already legendary.

As silly as “Legends of To-Meow-Meow” was, it was also a cool exploration of the Butterfly Effect. How a small change in your reality can trigger a far bigger outcome. Every event Charlie and John changed in pursuit of making their ideal reality—whether it was saving Sara from a demonic unicorn or tricking a little girl with the evils of broccoli—had a huge (and often devastating) impact on the world around them. They couldn’t make things right without actually making things right, coming down to one simple truth: John Constantine and Charlie are destined to be Legends.

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The episode ended exactly as we expected it would. John fixed his own past, sacrificing the man he loves so the world could be a safer place. And Charlie, while still upset about the fact that her shapeshifting was taken away, realized that she’s the voice of magical reason that the Legends need. I really hope she gets her powers back, though. The Legends could really use a shapeshifter.

Timey wimey indeed.
Photo: Michael Courtney (The CW)

Random Musings:

  • This episode proves that someone out there has the technology to create a body for Gideon and turn her into a corporeal being. And now I’m not going to rest until Legends of Tomorrow turns Gideon, played by the beautiful and talented Amy Pemberton, into a bonafide member of the crew. Screw the giant face hologram, the Waverider deserves a Janet.
  • As much as I appreciated how the show tried to explain why Charlie was choosing to stay in Amaya’s form while she was a shapeshifter, the explanation was pretty poor. It came across less like a legitimate character choice, and more like a one-line excuse for why Maisie Richardson-Sellers was still playing her. I would have loved if the show had brought back Anjli Mohindra, who originally played Charlie, just for a scene or two. Show Charlie back in the form she loved, only for her to realize that it’s not really her anymore. Show, don’t tell.
  • That said, I will give Richardson-Sellers credit for her accent work while Charlie was pretending to be Amaya. You could really hear the cockney accent struggling to come out underneath the Amaya one. Solid work.
  • Holy shit, Desmond is back! And he’s playing golf with Nate’s dad. And he’s got a creepy demon face that looks like those awful viral ads for the weird pockmarked skin disease. It’s unclear what the demon lord Neron has in store—but based on this reveal, it can’t be good.

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