Even the most ardent Losties find the show inscrutable at times, but can you imagine what Season 6 looks like to someone who's never seen the show? The wonderfully bemused blog Never Seen Lost tries (and fails) to keep up.

Massive confusion and weird Easter eggs are the name of the game for Lost - these alternatingly entice fans and throw us into conniptions. But what's the show all about for the Lost viewer who has zero concept of anything, let alone character's names? The author of Never Seen Lost has no idea what the hell is going on, and we're richer for it.


Here's a sample of the recap of Jack and Hurley's jaunt to the lighthouse...

They find an inhaler and it belongs to Shannon. No clue who Shannon is but since the music changed, she must be important. They're outside the caves that they used to live in. Ya know, before the real estate boom left all those condos that Sawyer was getting drunk in. In the cave are some rotting corpses. They say they forgot they were there. I don't know how. Those seem like the kind of thing you would always see when you close your eyes. Hurley proposes that maybe the carcasses are them. That they traveled through time years ago and died and now this is their remains… C'mon Hurley, that's ridiculous. Now get back to following the instructions that a ghost gave you at a temple with a life-restoring hot tub on a deserted island that has a murderous rain cloud where 50 people all ended up after surviving several plane crashes over the pacific ocean.

...and the beginning of flash sideways from "Dr. Linus."

After class Ben is minding his own bidniss when Dr. Jerry Hathaway from Real Genius (!) approaches him. He goes by Principal Reynolds, but I'm not fooled. I'm gonna keep calling him Jerry ("Don't call me Jerry." "Sorry, Jerry." "Kent, you're doing it again.") Huh? What? Sorry, blacked out there, back to Real Genius. Wait, no, Lost. So Jerry is in full on jerk mode and assigns Ben to be head of detention this week. As he walks away, Jerry calls him Mr. Linus. Ben corrects him by saying "It's Dr. Linus". No one cares.

Ben starts complaining to the sloppy science teacher. He points out that Jerry is more an administrator than a teacher and can't run this school. Eavesdrop Magee (John Locke) butts in and says "you be principal then". His argument is based on watching him flip out on a coffee machine and rant about hating the current principal. That's all he needs to entrust the school to someone with no experience. Ben complains that no one would listen to him. John says he would. I say I would not.


You can find full recaps of Season 6 at the site. It's also worth noting that the endearingly crude hand-drawn illustrations really reinforce the author's child-like sense of discovery.

[via Never Seen Lost]