The Gorilla On Mars Isn't The Weirdest Thing We've Spotted There

All hail King Kong of Mars! Eagle-eyed experts spotted this gorilla in one of the pictures sent back by the Spirit Rover. Of course, NASA's trying to cover it up. But it's not the weirdest Martian we've found so far.

Not only do some observers believe that's a gorilla running around on the red planet, but they believe the dark shape to its left is a second gorilla, as you'll see over at the Mars Anomalies web site. Enthusiasts have even gone so far as to create a Youtube video about gorillas fighting in the Martian mist:

The Emo music is really what makes it. Those gorillas really feel, you know? But they're also latecomers. There have already been lots of others on Mars before them. Here's a list:


The Face On Mars:

Pretty self explanatory. The 1976 Viking orbiter found this one, and since then NASA has spent a lot of time and energy trying to prove it's not a real face, by coming up with more detail images of this phenomenon, including 3-D views. But it's still a face, as any expert will tell you.

The Woman On Mars:

She's a more recent arrival, discovered by Spirit in 2008. She could be waiting for a bus, as one newspaper puts it. She might be waiting a while — they don't really have buses on Mars. Silly woman.


Trees On Mars:

Discovered this past January by the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter, these "trees" are actually just trails of dislodged sand. Or are they?


A Block Of Wood On Mars:

Also found in 2008, this block of timber is a major mystery. There are no forests on Mars — unless NASA was lying about those trees in the previous item. Things that make you go hmmm. Also, the wooden block looks like it was carried there by water, within the past few decades.


The Smiley Face On Mars:

As seen in the Watchmen graphic novel, this is a real geographical feature, the Galle crater. And it's also proof that Alan Moore's magic powers are nothing to fuck with, and all those Hollywood execs who've annoyed him should beware. Thanks to chernobog124 for reminding us of this one.


A Doorway On Mars:

Right at the base of a mountain formation, almost as if it leads into a secret mountain stronghold. Or perhaps a Martian dragon's lair. Will we ever discover the truth?


Tropical Birds On Mars:

These bird shapes have been noticed in some of the Mars Orbiter images. You only have to color them in properly, and they look like birds. Some of them even have human faces. Some experts have dubbed this phenomenon "Parrotopia."


Mick Jagger's Face On Mars:

Again, you only have to color in the black-and-white Orbiter images properly, and the shape becomes obvious. Could this be the secret meaning behind the baffling Primitive Cool album?


So there you have it. Mars is teeming with life. But we still don't know what this creature is.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter