Quentin Tarantino will direct at least one of the Star Wars prequel films — which features a naked Natalie Portman. Meanwhile, Star Trek XI is all about the evil Captain Kirk from the alternate "Mirror Mirror" universe teaming up with an evil Picard and an evil Archer. If only every rumor in science fiction turned out to be true, just imagine how trippy your favorite shows and movies would have been. Click through for our roundup of the weirdest and most awesome rumors... that turned out to be totally wrong.


Star Wars:

Natalie Portman will do a nude scene in the Star Wars prequels, and she sings a special ballad.

And hey — this site has the scripts for Star Wars episodes 7, 8, and 9! It also has a "rumors page" for Revenge of the Sith, which states "You won't be disappointed" by the film. Also, the prequels feature Grand Moff Tarkin heavily, and he forms part of a triumvirate of evil with Anakin and Palpatine. Tarkin's hatred for Bail Organa, Leia's adoptive father, is a major theme of the films. And the Phantom Menace features the Republic's versions of those giant robot elephants, the AT-ATs. Unfortunately, Liam Neeson teaches the young Anakin "unethical Jedi practices." But at least Episode 3 will be narrated by Alec Guinness.


Oh, and Obi-Wan is a clone of the original Ben Kenobi. And the two Kenobis fight in Episode 2.

And we get to see an 18-year-old Senator Leia confronting the Emperor, as he presides over the Imperial Senate. Meanwhile, Quentin Tarantino is directing Star Wars: Episode II. (If only!) But don't believe those rumors about Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, Watto, and the planet Naboo appearing in Phantom Menace: they're fake leaks, designed to throw you off.


Bruce Campbell will play Mysterio, the evil illusion-making former special effects expert, in Spider-Man 3.


Star Trek:

Captain Picard dies in Star Trek: Nemesis! And Patrick Stewart helped write his own death scene. And Robin Lefler (Ashley Judd) turns up as Wesley Crusher's wife! Also, Alan Rickman is playing the Viceroy and Jude Law is playing Shinzon. Really!

And Star Trek XI won't be a prequel featuring Young Kirk at Starfleet Academy at all. Instead, it'll be about William Shatner's Captain Kirk, teaming up with Captain Picard and Scott Bakula's Captain Archer... in the evil alternate Mirror universe! And maybe the evil Kirk and the good Kirk will fight, because Kirk's not dead in the evil universe, and therefore the rules of continuity don't apply! Yeah!! Or rather, no.


Actually, Matt Damon is playing Captain Kirk in the new movie, which is about the time/space donut from the "City on the Edge of Forever." No, wait, Tom Cruise is playing Kirk. And George Takei has a cameo as Captain Sulu. Oh, and Leonard Nimoy plays Spock's father Sarek.

Doctor Who:

In the new Doctor Who series, the Daleks will have legs, to help them get around better. The legs may look like R2D2s, or they may be nice "Hobbit-like tootsies." Can't you totally see the Daleks with Hobbit feet? Me too! Too bad the show is being canceled again.


Season three ends with the Doctor revealing that he has a son, from a doomed love affair with an alien woman. Meanwhile, Joan Collins will play The Rani, an amoral Time Lady, in season four. And Ben Kingsley will play Davros, creator of the evil cyborg Daleks. Oh, and Britney Spears will appear as a whole host of sex-mad creatures, with special effects creating multiple Britneys.

Season three's big bad is the Ice Warriors, those green scaly cold-loving creatures.

Also, Paul McGann (Withnail And I), who played the Doctor in a TV movie, will reprise the role for a big-screen film.


And Peter Davison, the early 80s New Wave Doctor, will pop up for at least one multi-Doctor storyline. Meanwhile, 1970s Doctor Tom Baker will come back... as the Doctor's arch-enemy, the Master!

Also, David Bowie will totally appear in Doctor Who playing an "evil alien abductor.) Meanwhile, Jason Statham is the Doctor. Meanwhile, the 2007 Christmas special, "Voyage of the Damned," featured Woody Allen as Albert Einstein. Wasn't he awesome?

Thanks to Nivair Gabriel for research help.