The Best "Tip" Email We've Ever Received

Illustration for article titled The Best "Tip" Email We've Ever Received

Normally, we wouldn't ask, but listen: We kind of need to borrow a million dollars from you. I know, it's awkward and everything, but I promise that we'll pay it back when we can, and you'd not be giving us money, you'd be giving it to the cause of investigative journalism, I promise. After all, who wouldn't pay a million dollars for an inside scoop on the Arizona-based drug-fuelled sexploits of the creator of a TV-turned-movie franchise? Yeah, I thought that'd get your attention. Possibly the greatest "tip" email we've ever received after the jump.


Here's what came through the io9 emailbox this morning:

If you're really interested in the X-Files, I'm the guy who got Chris Carter (and a stunning brunette not his wife) to come to a Navajo peyote ceremony outside Window Rock, Arizona. It's quite an interesting story, and I'd be willing to tell it for... one million dollars! ;-)

(Why $1,000,000? Simple: I will have to leave the country, and possibly the planet, to evade the shapeshifting alien hit men Carter will send to silence me if I dare speak out!)

Actually, I'd be willing to tell it to anybody who'd listen, but I write for a living and I like to pay my bills.

You need a million dollars to pay your bills, Mr. Mystery Gossiphound (Yes, we know his real name)? Really? Those are some impressive bills that you've got going on - Apparently the price of peyote has skyrocketed in Arizona recently. Or maybe it'd be pre-emptive libel lawsuit maneuvers that you'd be investigating, following that whole "a stunning brunette not his wife" thing...


Annalee Newitz

You only get stars if you finish ALL your homework. And most of you guys totally skipped the word problems.