The post-human, corporate nightmare soap opera just won't stop on Helix. Even though we got lots of juicy reveals last night, and a bad guy turned slightly less bad, our favorite moment had nothing to do with the goo zombie conspiracy. Spoilers ahead!

But before we get to the best moment, can I just say that Constance seems to have a lot of luck with the gents? First she does a punch-and-kiss with Sergio, then it turns out she was Hiroshi's longtime lover and mad science buddy? In one of those "as you know, Bob, we actually had sex a bunch of times" moments, Constance reveals that she and Hiroshi had some long-term plan to change the course of history. Back when Hiroshi "loved and admired" Constance.


Is Julia product of all that, ahem, admiration? Maybe, although that would be news to Constance, who spends most of this episode asking various faceless underlings why she can't figure out what Julia's value is. I have to say I enjoyed last week's ironic corporate-speak Constance better than this week's scheming fascist Constance. I think Hiroshi shares my feelings, because we learn that he dumped Constance when he grew some ethics and realized that destroying humanity would be a bad idea. Perhaps that was around the time that he decided to adopt Daniel instead of using him as an experiment.

Speaking of which, Daniel sends his sister off into the snow and decides to help Hiroshi retake the base from Constance — not because he likes Hiroshi, but because he hates Constance more. I'm glad he finally decides to call himself Miksa and that he rejects Hiroshi's authority. It's great to see him taking initiative and helping in the "kill Constance" plan. Oh and bonus points to Sarah for knowing how to bring a sound cannon into the mutiny strategy.

Julia tries to help out in her own way, too, by pretending to barf up an alien at lunch and hanging out with goo zombies in the ducts. She's still puzzling over a ripped photo that Hiroshi showed her, of the two of them holding hands when she was a little girl. Meanwhile, Constance just wants to box Julia up and ship her back to Ilyria because she's their property now that she has their patented silver eye genes.

My guess continues to be that the silver eye thing was part of the "let's create a super race" plan that Constance made with Hiroshi. It appears to grant super-healing powers, since Constance recovers almost instantly from the bomb that Alan and Sarah cook up for her in the lab. And Julia says she's never felt better in her life.

As an aside, did anybody really believe the Moment that Anana and Sergio shared when they were out in the snow with no toques and no gloves? Where Sergio is like "I'm gonna steal your skidoo" and then Anana says, "fine steal it but I know you like me" and he's like "no I'm evil, and I'm stealing it" and then she punches him and then he says, "run away and save yourself!" What was that? I mean, I'm glad Sergio lets Anana run away from Constance's guard, but I'm getting a little tired of his shitbag-with-a-heart-of-gold thing. His allegiances shift so fast it's like he's doing whatever the ethical equivalent of twerking is.


OK so all of that was great, and I'm excited about the goo zombies stealing Peter's body and all that crap, but LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BEST MOMENT EVAR.

I love that Hiroshi strangles Constance with a garrote he's hidden inside the watch she gave him. And then he puts her head inside one of those jars hidden out in the snow, along with Richard Nixon's head and a bunch of the other scientists' heads. Why is he storing everybody's heads?! I hope that in the last episode of the season, all the heads come back to life and one of them tries to run for president. The jar heads are definitely one of the most demented and goofy details on this show.

Now Hiroshi has control of the base again, but he's lost Miksa's loyalty and a lot of his staff. The zombies are running wild looking for NIH funding, Constance's bosses are going to come looking for her, and he STILL hasn't told Julia what their relationship is. Plus, Alan is pouting.

Tune in next week to find out WTF is going on.