The last episode of Arrow left me mostly cold. This one, "Broken Dolls," kicks it up considerably. Not only do we get a ton of twists — and hints of twists — we get a lot of priceless lines. Find out who said what.

"We shouldn't split up." - Oliver Queen

Who knew that Ollie would go from the dumbest character in the dumbest wig to the smartest of the Island Crew? He proves it this episode by saying what every person, in every dangerous situation, knows to be true. You shouldn't split up. Not when some guy in a Shatner mask is chasing you, and not when you've found the skeleton of a Japanese soldier from World War II and brought it back to your plane-base and your pre-med ninja girlfriend wants to examine it while your ex-mercenary buddy wants to check out why that gang of thugs, all of whom you had to murderize, was after it. No matter what, splitting up is bad. Ollie's right, too, because when the group do split up, the plane-base gets struck by missiles from a circling ship. When he and Slade run back to rescue Shado, Slade gets set on fire somehow and Ollie gets kidnapped and put in a cage in the ship's hold. Yes, Slade gets set on fire. What's that noise? It's like millions of fangirls screamed out, "No facial scarring!" and were suddenly silenced.


"There's not a lot of value in the power of positive thinking when you're put on trial for mass murder." - Moira Queen

I picture Susanna Thompson pacing her living room for hours trying to find a way to say this line. The fact that she, in the end, managed to endow it with humor and maternal warmth is just — kudos. Kudos, Ms. Thompson. She says this to Thea during a visit, and is proved to be correct when the prosecutor for her case reveals that he's seeking the death penalty.


Thea freaks out, but Ollie puts his psycho eyes on (my favorite type of Ollie eyes), and assure Thea that he's not going to let anyone kill their mother. Moira seems calm, but reveals to her lawyer that she's worried not because of what the lawyer refers to as "that little death penalty stunt," but because, Moira claims, "There are still some things that must never be spoken." Moira's whole story arc was full of great soapy lines this week. It was hard to choose just one.

"Two victims with the same skin cream, that can't be a coincidence!" - Quentin Lance

A serial killer has turned 10 women into living dolls, after suffocating them with some kind of hardening plastic. Quentin Lance caught him once before, but the earthquake released him, along with a lot of the prisoners from Iron Heights Prison. (Good job saving the city with an earthquake, Barrowman. Go back to Torchwood.) Lance, after learning that the police force won't even admit the killer escaped, joins up with "the Arrow" to find him. I was skeptical when, after they break into the forensic lab running tests on the evidence gathered from the victims, Lance said that line. I mean, two women with the same skin cream? Good luck catching any killers with my Aveeno, police force. Actually, it turns out that the skin cream is from a really upscale place that puts mother-of-pearl in the cream and sells it to women with "delicate skin." So in that particular case, I have to eat my words.


(But not entirely. If I can girl-out for a second, why would women want to rub shell into their face? And why would the Dollmaker, who wants women with gorgeous skin, go to a boutique for women with delicate skin? Take it from me, dude. Saying "delicate skin" a euphemistic way of saying "bad skin." You don't want delicate skin. You want good sturdy milkmaid skin that can get covered in cow dung and kicked by a mule and still look great. I'd make such a better serial killer than you.)

Anyway, Quentin is searching for the guy, and after listening to one girl die in a really horrific scene that I was not expecting, he and Ollie send Felicity undercover to the skin cream boutique. To my surprise, Felicity does not get kidnapped. Quentin and Laurel do. Well, look. Quentin does have good skin. There are some things you just can't argue with.


"Why would I feel guilty about that?" - Laurel Lance

The "that" she is referring to is Tommy's death. You know, the one that happened because Tommy rushed into a collapsing building because Laurel's dumb ass stayed in a disaster area to save paperwork. Why would she feel guilty about that? Why why why? To be fair, she's displacing pretty hard. After Green Arrow saves her from getting all dolled up (I am not proud of that pun), she comes to her senses and cries over her guilt. That seems to end her enmity toward Arrow, which is a shame, because I loved it.

"Bonk." - Black Canary

"Ow, my face!" - Roy Harper

Oh, this was delicious. Black Canary made many appearances in this episode. She saved Ollie from the police with "some kind of sonic device." She's been saving women from criminals who target them. She kicks around, and then kills, the Dollmaker when Ollie won't kill him. But my favorite scene with her is how she concludes the Sidekick-Off.


Ollie has told Roy to find out about this mystery lady in black leather. Roy tracks down her sidekick, named Cindy and nicknamed, "Sin." Sin calls Roy "Abercrombie," which I also love. When he asks about Black Canary, there's an epic park-our chase through a park-ing lot. (Not real proud of that pun, either. It's a sad day when your best moment is practical serial killing advice.) Roy chases Sin into a clocktower and gets knocked unconscious. When he wakes up, Black Canary asks him if "they" sent him. At that point, the bonk-my-face exchange takes place and it's wonderful. I love it so much that I rolled around on the couch for a bit and replay it. Black Canary apparently decides that Roy isn't from "them" and takes off, leaving him confused and in pain, but alive.

Before the episode ends, "they" actually show up, in the form of a guy telling Black Canary that Ra's Al Ghul is looking for her. She refuses to go, and stabs the guy to death, but from that moment on I'm focused only on one thing.


I am on my knees, Arrow. On my knees. Please find a way to get Liam Neeson to play Ra's Al Ghul again. Please. Come on, he seems like he has a sense of humor. Make it happen!