Did you know that the bands you hear on the radio station at the DMV are actually occult emissaries? It's true, they're exactly like Pokémon!


According to this old-school TV host — who I'm unfortunately not familiar with — the music your uncle blasts when he burns incense in the garage is basically a tin-can-and-string leading straight into the bowels of Hell. Or, as Earth, Wind, And Fire call it, the "Boogie Wonderland." I never knew my mom's cell phone ringtone was an occult mantra.