“Assimilatte.” Subtle.
Image: MGM (YouTube)
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These horrific fish-out-of-water are about to get a taste of suburban life, as the latest trailer for The Addams Family brings the classic goth ensemble to the most-terrifying place on earth: New Jersey.

The Addams Family stars Charlize Theron and Oscar Isaac as the matriarch and patriarch of the Addams clan, along with Chloë Grace Moretz as Wednesday, Finn Wolfhard as Pugsley, Nick Kroll as Uncle Fester, and Bette Midler as Grandmama. We’ve also got Allison Janney playing Margaux Needler, a reality TV makeover host who tries to get the Addams to “Assimilatte” into New Jersey suburbia, only to eventually try and turn the whole town against them. Because, you know, they’re “not normal.” They have a cousin made of hair.

I do like how the designs are based on the original New Yorker cartoons by Charles Addams, which give them a slightly timeless vibe. I also get that this version is totally for kids, so I’m going to cut it some slack. Even if it does feel like a children’s film premise we’ve gotten so many times over the past few years: Oddballs out of place in an Edward Scissorhands version of suburbia, like The Lorax and UglyDolls.


But I will admit—especially after seeing those ridiculous posters—hearing the normally brooding, seductive, and dangerous Gomez Addams squeal with Satan about how their party is “going to be lit” did crush my spirits a little. If you’ve got kids, have fun. Otherwise...I mean, have fun either way. But probably not while seeing this movie. Unless you really want to.

The Addams Family comes out October 11.

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Video Editor and Staff Writer at io9. My doppelganger is that rebelling greeting card from Futurama.

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