If I was a high-paid Hollywood writer, this is what my version of the Bionic Woman would look like. Upon realizing that her boyfriend has not only been keeping a dossier on her but apparently waiting to pounce upon her first near fatal mishap to implant her with $50 million of his employer's goods, Jamie Sommers tells Will and his boss Jonas they can stick it in their bionic ear. Then she and Sarah Corvus declare a truce. They meet for cocktails and decide to form their own alliance. The rest of the series would turn upon their feats of daring as they fight crime, the military-industrial complex, the Berkut Group, and men who underestimate or are afraid of true female power.

Rather than buying her sister's affection with $175 jeans and red wine, Jamie would try to set boundaries for Becca—and impress upon her the repercussions for bad behavior. Becca might still act out, but we'd believe she liked 70s punk and Broadway musicals. In fact, everybody would have a believably complex personality, not just the appurtenances of one; a show can buy all the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and New York Dolls songs and vintage GTOS it wants, but these aren't a substitute for good writing. The word "Good!" shouldn't be the first to spring to a viewer's mind when a character collapses after being poisoned.

Because Jamie wouldn't be working for the Berkut Group, she wouldn't have a boss like Antonio, who plays the Wise Black Man one week, and the Scary Black Man Threatening A White Woman the next. Ruth's authoritative manner and short haircut wouldn't immediately rate the questioning of her sexuality ("Is she a lesbian?").


Would it be a better show? I don't know—but I think I'd rather watch it than this one.