Swamp Thing Goes Badass

DC Comics' Swamp Thing has been through many incarnations, including a long stint during which the book was written by the legendary Alan Moore and included psychedelic tuber sex. But never has Swamp Thing been more inexplicable than when it became a TV show for a few years in the early 1990s. A cross between Hulk and Flipper, the show focused on a young boy who befriends Swamp Thing and his mom, who never eats the viney guy's tubers but does have a Special Feeling for him. In this snippet from the first episode of the show, we capture for you exactly why the existence of this series is a puzzling gap in most people's memories.

I love this fight between Swamp Thing and a generic bad guy, who claims he was trying to kill "just a dwarf" in the swamp before he gets turned into a scary tree. There actually is a whole abused dwarf subplot in this episode, which you can imagine does not bode well. I have spared you a snippet of the mega-bad guy's lair, complete with 1980s-looking girl doing a pole dance without a pole, and the horrifyingly long sequence where Swamp Thing's love interest gazes mournfully at a piece of cheap jewelry the camouflaged Swamp Thing dangles in front of her when she wanders through the swamp. Savor the memory of this one scene, safe in the knowledge that you don't have to watch the rest of this series. Unless you really want to. The first two seasons are available as a box set! [Swamp Thing via IMDB]


Annalee Newitz

@TheAlmanac: Language ambiguity makes everything more fun.