Stupid Grown-Ups Love Their Robot Overseers

What heavy metal teenager with a bitchin' mullet hasn't fantasized about acting out this scene? Walking out of a giant monster skull, with a wall of flame behind you, and telling all of the old farts that they're really slaves of the man? In this awesome scene from Starchaser: Legend Of Orin, the slaves of Mineworld think that their overlord Zygon is coming to address them, but they're surprised when it's the teenage Orin, who ventured out of their little cavern world for the first time, instead. Isn't it just like the grownups to believe the lying whip-wielding robot overseers instead of the kids?

It's a good thing the glowy ball turns up, to tell Orin he doesn't actually need his magic sword-hilt to make his shiny blade... he can spurt it out of himself like a giant white spurty thing. The people of Mineworld have been taught to worship Zygon, and told that there's nothing but Hell and damnation above their little cavernous world, and if they don't keep digging out the shiny red crystals, they'll starve. (Even though they don't actually eat the crystals.) But Orin goes on a hero's journey kind of thing and discovers the truth, not unlike the City of Ember and a million other stories including that Star Trek episode that Orin almost names the title of. Those red crystals are actually fueling Zygon's war machine, allowing him to conquer the rest of the humans. And afford lots of bitchin red skull insignias.


The rest of 1985's Starchaser is a pretty blatant Star Wars rip-off, complete with a desert planet populated by racist Arab stereotypes. It does have an awesome break-dancing soundtrack, that sounds like Herbie Hancock's "Rockit." And the Han Solo character smokes a gigantic cigar and says things like, "That bot's about to get a laser enema." What more could you ask for? Oh, and it features some of the first computer animation, mixed in with the regular kind.


Charlie Jane Anders

@DocGratis: "Mine World" is a lovely name for the known universe... and a lot of places have names that are basically meaningless, like Death Valley...