Smackdown Bonus Round: Witches Vs. River Tam

Illustration for article titled Smackdown Bonus Round: Witches Vs. River Tam

I have to admit, I thought you'd go for vampires. But the winners of this week's Halloween Smackdown were easily witches, which can only mean one thing: Smackdown Showdown. Witches trump all other monsters, but can they beat River Tam?

River, you may remember, decimated the field in our first week of Smackdown, showing everyone the strength of the internet Whedonbase that she was the Baddest of Television Badasses, defeating the likes of James T. Kirk, Buffy of Vampire Slayer fame and even the Doctor without breaking a sweat. But now that her army of followers have most likely dispersed, we have to wonder... Can a sneak attack by Witches topple her reign?


We're not even doubting this outcome in our heads - Any real battle between a competent witch and River would end up with a supernatural victory because, dude: River's strong and programmed with fight moves, but if she can't get close to her enemy because of whatever magic techniques you care to imagine, then she's SOL. Plus, that whole "safeword" thing. But, as we learned last time, logic doesn't matter a whole hill of beans in Smackdown, so we'll see whether the Tam Dynasty survives to fight another day or not this time around.

The poll will be open all week. Feel free to vote multiple times, just to ruin the clearly-scientific nature of the endeavor.

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Sam's (Bewitched) nose twitch would send River Tam into another dimension. River's about as defenseless as Durwood. #rivertam