Just when you thought it was safe to celebrate the holidays, something rises from deep out of the comments section, something cold, something predatory, something strangely festive. That's right, people, best catch it now, because Sharkmas comes but once a year.
Today, we surveyed the upcoming television scene for the week and, with one voice, asked a question: Where is our pan-holiday shark programming? Right here, folks, right here:
Sharkukkah: Eight Nights of Terror.
"Last night the sharks attacked as a school, why did just one attack tonight?"
"Well, the sharks understood that yesterday was about Umoji, or unity. Tonight they're displaying Kujichagulia or self-determination."
There's a built in sequel for Passover.
"Why is this night different from all other nights?"
"Other than Bobby getting bitten in half by a Great White? —DL Thurston
What about a soundtrack, do we have a soundtrack?
"It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Sharkmas" — jegrouchy
Shark, The Herald Angel, Stings —MagicKenny
I'm dreaming of a Great White Christmas — fullsoul
More to add to the holiday programming schedule? Post it into the comments now!
Top image: Patrick Kosmader / Shutterstock