Proof that the original Conan the Barbarian is completely insane - and brilliant [NSFW]

Everybody remembers the "what is best in life" speech from the original Conan the Barbarian, but do you remember the "training in the East" sequence that comes before it? Where the enslaved Conan is stuck in a cage and "bred" with women? Where he swishes his sword around and grins like a complete maniac?

If you've forgotten the truly bugfuck awesomeness of the original movie, this little sequence will remind you. Note especially the voiceover by Mako, which is pure genius. Love the line, "Language and writing were made available." What does that even mean? The entire movie is like this! Go back and rewatch it. It's like Sesame Street crossed with Lucha Libre crossed with . . . I dunno, maybe Hong Kong action flick The Swordsman?

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SupaChupacabra

BTW Oliver Stone's script was pretty batshit crazy... it was like a weird Planet of the Apes meets HP Lovecraft... [conancompletist.com]

At some point I heard he wanted to make it an apocalyptic "alt future" story, so it wasn't a vague distant past but like a Weird Tales where civilization is in decline and Conan is a Mad Max character fighting Ape/Human hybrids.

Other odd factoids... the actress playing Conan's mother in the film, who was I believe a Swedish model (and frankly stunning) was also schizophrenic and became homeless after the film and died in obscurity, sadly.