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Physicist Builds Machine to Remove Cream from Oreos, Changes EVERYTHING

Physicist, artist and copywriter David Neevel is all business, which is to say he's all about the cookie. Neevel so abhors creme filling, he built an Oreo Separator Machine (OSM) to first split the tasty sandwich in twain, and then flay its frosty white coating by way of a carefully calibrated CNC machine.*


"I don't have a catchphrase for my machine," says Neevel, "but if I did have one I guess it could be something like 'Let's Get That Creme Outta There,' or like, 'This Creme's No Good Get it Off the Cookie,' or something."

We may not agree with your taste for de-cremed Oreo cookies, David. But dammit if we don't respect your sheer mechanical ingenuity.


*We are well aware that David Neevel built his machine as part of Nabisco's "Cookie vs. Cream" campaign. We're not even mad. In our mind, all that matters is that Neevel loves cookies enough to build a complicated de-creme machine — and that much, I think we can all agree, is abundantly clear.

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Like all scientific innovations, down this path lies only madness.