Pee-Wee Herman takes over HBO! And your future self gives useless advice.

Illustration for article titled Pee-Wee Herman takes over HBO! And your future self gives useless advice.

This week's television holds many wonders: The return of Pee-Wee Herman! Isaiah Mustafa is back on Chuck. "Our" universe's Lincoln Lee appears on Fringe, and we've got the first clip. V's season finale goes all out!


Not to mention, an Emmy-winning actor proves that meeting your future self might not be as cool as you'd have hoped. Minor spoilers and tons of clips below...


Chuck is back on NBC at 8 PM, with "Chuck Vs. The A Team":

CHUCK FEARS THAT CASEY HAS A SECRET THAT MAY SPLIT UP THE TEAM — ROBIN GIVENS, STACY KEIBLER AND ISAIAH MUSTAFA GUEST STAR -Chuck (Zachary Levi) and Sarah (Yvonne Strahovski) investigate when they suspect that Casey (Adam Baldwin) is carrying out private missions. Meanwhile, Chuck fears that the CIA's seemingly-perfect new operatives (guest stars Isaiah Mustafa and Stacy Keibler) will render him obsolete. Elsewhere, Morgan settles in with a new roommate, and Awesome (Ryan McPartlin) panics when Ellie (Sarah Lancaster) embarks on a potentially dangerous line of research.


There's also a new episode of the pseudo-sciencey House on Fox at 8 PM. Will he fight zombies again? We can only hope!

Also at 8, there's a new Adventure Time with Finn and Jake on Cartoon Network. That's followed by Mad at 8:15 PM.

And then there's more of The Event — can you stand the intrigue?

THE WHITE HOUSE VOWS NEVER AGAIN, WHILE THOMAS PLANS HIS ENCORE - ROGER BART AND GABRIELLE CARTERIS GUEST STAR - Still reeling from the attack in Alaska, President Martinez (Blair Underwood) reasserts control over the situation and his administration, counseled by Sterling (Zeljko Ivanek) and his Chief of Staff (guest star Roger Bart, "Desperate Housewives"). Sophia (Laura Innes) learns the details of Thomas's murderous rampage. Thomas (Clifton Collins, Jr.) sets Sophia and Martinez further at odds. Elsewhere, Michael (Scott Patterson) leaves Leila (Sarah Roemer) in safekeeping with a close friend, Diane Geller (guest star Gabrielle Carteris, "Beverly Hills, 90210"), while he goes on the hunt for Thomas. The NSA continues to decrypt the satellite transmission, hopefully before it's too late.

At 9 PM, there's Syfy's remake of the British show Being Human, "I Want You Back (From The Dead.)"

Stargate Universe airs at 10 PM on Syfy, with the new episode "Twin Destinies":

Eli finds a way to use the Stargate to return to Earth, but Rush isn't convinced that the process is safe. The rest of the crew believes that Eli can do it... until another Rush travels from the future to warn them.

Also at 10 PM: Shatner's Raw Nerve features special guest star... LeVar Burton. It's the meeting of two Star Trek generations. It's on Biography Channel. And it's followed at 10:30 PM by another episode, featuring Walter Koenig.


The season (series?) finale of V airs at 9 PM on ABC, "Mother's Day":

Anna is focused on having Lisa breed with Tyler to ensure the evolution of the Visitors, while Erica and Diana enlist Lisa to stage a coup against Anna and remove her from power before humanity is destroyed. Erica and the Fifth Column join Lisa in the attempted coup, which has devastating results, on the shocking Season Two finale of "V," TUESDAY, MARCH 15 (9:00-10:01 p.m., ET) on ABC. Also in the episode, Marc Singer, who played freedom fighter Mike Donovan on the original "V" series, will guest star as Lars Tremont, a member of a top secret organization of high-ranking military and government leaders from around the globe who have long suspected that the Visitors are very much not here in peace.



Sym-Bionic Titan is on Cartoon Network at 7 PM, with "Under The Three Moons."

Ilana feels homesick as winter arrives in Illinois.

Also, the History Channel has two new episodes of Underwater Universe, at 9 PM and 10 PM, focusing on "Tides and Currents of Death" and "Fatal Pressure" respectively.


At 11 PM, SOAPNet has another episode of Being Erica:

Dr. Tom's life is turned upside down when his wayward daughter returns home. And Kai surprises Erica again.



At 8 PM, there's a new episode of the frequently in-joke-filled Community, "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy."

At 10 PM, there's another episode of the James Bond spoof Archer, on FX, "Stage Two."

After Malory's brief scare with breast cancer, another ISIS agent decides to be tested for the disease, with a tragic result. The other agent is Archer, and the tragic result is that yes, he has breast cancer. Because a career spent disarming nuclear warheads and having sex in x-ray machines will tend to do that.


And at 11 PM, Syfy is showing the very first Leprechaun movie — in case you thought this franchise didn't actually have a first in the series, but instead just looped around endlessly through a Mobius strip of ridiculous sequels. And it stars Jennifer Aniston!


Cartoon Network has a full slate of programs, starting at 7:30 PM with Ben 10: Ultimate Alien at 7:30 PM. That's followed by Generator Rex at 8:00 PM.

And then a new Fringe at 9 PM, "Stowaway":

When the Fringe team investigates an apparent suicide victim, they uncover a second set of fingerprints leading them to a woman with uncanny characteristics that cannot die.


And here's a sneak peek, featuring Lincoln Lee!

At 10 PM, there's a new (to Americans) episode of Merlin on Syfy, "Queen of Hearts."


Or you could also check out the sixth episode of the crowd-sourced TV show Bar Karma on CurrentTV at 10 PM, "Term Limits."

There's also a new Onion News Network on IFC at 10 PM.


The Hub, the cable channel for kids, is having its usual two-hour bloc of cartoons from 7 to 9 (or 4 to 6 on the West Coast.) There's Transformers Prime, G.I. Joe Renegades, Dan Vs. and R.L. Stine's the Haunting Hour: The Series. At least some of those episodes are new.

At 9 PM, BBC America has the original British version of Being Human, "The Longest Day."

Also at 9 PM, the Hallmark Channel has a new TV movie, Time After Time starring Richard Thomas from The Waltons. I am already obsessed with the cheese-platiness of this movie. Check out the trailer, in which Thomas tells his younger self: "The day you stop running is the day you start moving forward." No, I don't know what that means either. Here's the synopsis:

A soul-searching journalist comes face-to-face with his future when he returns to the Long Island community he grew up in and confronts a past that has haunted him his entire adult life in the Hallmark Channel Original Movie, "Time After Time," premiering Saturday, March 19 (9 p.m. ET/PT, 8C). Emmy® Award winner Richard Thomas ("The Waltons") stars alongside Kaj-Erik Eriksen ("The 4400") as a man who travels back in time and comes face-to-face with a younger version of himself. When the mature man looks into the eyes of someone who looks strangely familiar, if younger, he has an opportunity to fix tomorrow's mistakes today.

And then at 10 PM, Paul Reubens has his first HBO special in three decades: The Pee Wee Herman Show on Broadway. It's an evening of his recent Broadway run, full of childlike wonder and weirdness. Here's the "Horror"-themed promo for the one-hour special.



There's no The Simpsons at 8 PM. But there is a new Bob's Burgers at 8:30, Family Guy at 9, and a new Cleveland Show at 9:30.


The Science Channel is still re-showing all the original episodes of Joss Whedon's Firefly, with segments featuring physicist Michio Kaku. Tonight, there's "Bushwhacked" at 9 PM and "Shindig" at 10 PM.

Sources: Austin American-Statesman TV section, Futon Critic, TV Guide, and various TV studios.


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Dr Emilio Lizardo

I'm sorry, I just have to post this Public Service Announcement.

Men do get breast cancer and not just from disarming atomic warheads and having sex in X-Ray machines. About 1% of breast cancer occurs in men and is almost always associated with BRCA mutations which increase risk in both men and women.

Sorry. Hope that doesn't reduce anybodies enjoyment of "Archer" but I think it's important that people know.