American Horror Story: Hotel goes on a holiday hiatus until January 6 after “She Gets Revenge,” but the episode has left us with quite a bit to mull over—as well as some of the most rip-roarin’ moments we’ve seen all season. Let’s count ’em up!
Iris and Liz, who’ve been co-workers for years but only very recently have become something resembling friends, bond over their apparently meaningless lives. After they take care of any existential unfinished business, they decide, they’ll end it all together. But—in a sweet twist—Liz’s long-abandoned adult son pays her a visit and turns out to be a wonderfully open-minded and forgiving person. Liz has hope for the future, something she hasn’t had since Tristan died, and convinces Iris—who’s given up on her own son, Donovan, completely—that suicide isn’t the right course of action just yet.
Elsewhere, the various love triangles and trapezoids flitting about the Hotel Cortez begin to reach predictably messy conclusions. After John helps Alex—who’s been threatened by the Countess—round up the Baby Vamp Measles Brigade and lock them in Ramona’s sealed-up hallway, the self-described “world’s worst parents” reconnect and decide to try and make a go of it as a family again. Sally, of course, is very displeased, and predicts/hopes that John will come crawling back once Alex realizes John is a serial killer. (That’s a possibility, but John sure seems OK with Alex and Holden being vampires, so maybe his wife’ll let his eccentricity slide, too.) There is still one commandment left to fill James March’s macabre display cabinet, as well as March’s hopes that John will help him with his next murderous grand plan. But for now, the Lowes are outta there.
The Countess, meanwhile, is confronted by Will Drake’s pissed-off ghost—which now means that she has two dead husbands haunting/taunting her. Far more distressing, though, is Donovan’s jealous killing of Valentino (“Who am I? I’m you, asshole”), which occurs as the Countess is taking down her own rival, Valentino’s wife Natasha. Hearing the news, the Countess can’t decide if she’s more heartbroken over Valentino’s death so soon after she found him again—or more moved by Donovan’s reckless act of passion.
She won’t have long to wonder, though, because this tender moment is interrupted by Liz and Iris and a hail of bullets. It’s a glorious—and gloriously unexpected—moment. Suck on that, “cheekbones for days”! Will the Hotel Cortez have a pair of new bosses when AHS unleashes its final episodes in January? And will that really make a difference, what with Ramona and March and Sally and that damn spooky Addiction Demon lurking in its halls? Can’t wait to find out.