Paris Hilton Wants To Be Stripperella

Illustration for article titled Paris Hilton Wants To Be Stripperella

Meet the kind of superhero that gets drunk and throws up on her own party dress. Yes, hotel heiress and end of human decency Paris Hilton is getting her own Stan Lee-blessed comic book character and cartoon spin-off on MTV. Mr. Lee is creating a character just for Paris, but more importantly, what will her superpowers be? Below the fold, I list possible future superhero characteristics. So this shell of a human being gets to be the Muse of Stan Lee? Okay fine. Let's at least take some past experiences and input them into her character. So what should her costume be? A government issued orange jumpsuit, or perhaps a a teeny tiny dress made from a magic sweatshop? Or a white leotard with a giant red bullseye and then we can send her to Iraq to stop the war? What about super powers? How about the ability to regurgitate champagne across a room with great accuracy and speed? What about the ability to deflect mind control. Remember Magneto's mind-control-blocking helmet? Paris' super power is like that, but only because she doesn't actually have a mind to control. Still, she should definitely have night vision. What should her weakness be? Shame? No that hasn't been proven to work yet. What about class or tact? Whenever she's around someone with social decorum she begins to weaken until she says something inappropriate and regains her strength. Suddenly I'm really excited for this super-cartoon. [Comic Book Movie]

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Hell, Stan Lee has the best job in the world. Develop some 15 pages

of crap turning the popular media whore of the moment as the new super

hero of the decade. You get your name in the credits and a nice

paycheck for a few days work.