Walter George Bruhl Jr., pictured here, died on March 9th of this year. Every line of his death notice, which he wrote himself, is outstanding.

It begins:

Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker.

He drifted off this mortal coil Sunday, March 9, 2014, in Punta Gorda, Fla. His spirit was released from his worn-out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe.

He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink. He is also survived by his son Walter III and wife Melissa; daughters Carly and Paige, and son Martin and wife Debra; son Sam and daughter Kalla. Walt loved and enjoyed his grandkids.

Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000.

Bruhl's grandson, Sam Bruhl, posted a photo of the complete obituary to imgur. "Typical of my PopPop: he cut out the middleman and wrote his own damn obituary," Sam wrote on Facebook following his grandfather's passing. "He's the only man I've ever known to be able to add his own humor like this. So glad I got to read one more thing from my favorite writer" (click to enlarge):

Bruhl's self-penned obit made the rounds online earlier this year, in the days immediately following its March 11th publication in the local Cape Gazette newspaper. How we managed to miss it then is beyond us, because this is just fantastic. We apologize for the oversight.


[Cape Gazette via The Sundry Times]