On "The Event," a meeting of the National Association Of Non-Human Real Estate Agents

I don't want to say I told you so, but The Event has rolled out yet another conspiracy. Not only that, but it turns out the aliens/people of the future/whatevers are actually real estate agents! Just kidding. Real spoilers ahead!

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Most of last night's episode of the The Event was frustrating nonsense, but it did lead up to an amazingly WTF scene (excerpted above) with Sophia forcing evil lawyer Isobel to shoot herself in the knee. In fact, we saw Sophia doing the full Mommie Dearest routine on Thomas throughout the episode, and boy was she scary and psycho.

But before we get into Sophia Dearest, let's talk about the alien convention in that Holiday Inn.
Let me make something perfectly clear. Weird numbers bleeping up on a bunch of people's mobile phones is moderately intriguing. Having those numbers lead to everybody wearing middle manager suits and meeting in the "banquet room" in the Holiday Inn? With Sophia the mastermind addressing everybody from behind a cheap podium? Suddenly we're at a freakin real estate agents' convention. Which is perfectly fine, but doesn't exactly say "alien menace."

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Even though we are supposed to think they're menacing, right? Because at this meeting of the free non-human people we find out that Thomas and Isobel (who we know is evil because she's a corporate lawyer) are 1) secretly fucking, though why it has to be secret is unclear; and 2) plotting to kill Sophia and put Thomas in power, though again we're not sure why. Also, people, this marks CONSPIRACY NUMBER FOUR in this show (added to Sophia's conspiracy, Mystery Guy's conspiracy, and Sterling's conspiracy), which is about to have its "fall finale" next week. Remember when they promised us resolutions and all that crap at the beginning of the season? Adding another conspiracy . . . grumble, etc.

We also found out, interestingly, that Sophia's crew follows something remarkably like Star Trek's Prime Directive.
In the Star Trek franchise, the Federation abides (or doesn't) by a "prime directive" that forbids them from intervening in cultures with less technological development than their own. At the big real estate meeting, Sophia talks to the non-human honchos about how they can't stay on Earth - even though many of them want to - because they've sworn not to harm "indigenous people." Which in turn reveals more about the non-human when Sophia says, "You know what staying will ultimately do to the native population - we're not allowed to damage the indigenous people."

Then we hear the same song and dance about how their home world "is no longer viable," and Sophia makes it clear that they can only go back via a portal - which requires nukes. So we're still not sure if these guys are from the future, a parallel universe, or another planet. We do know that they think of humans as the "native population," whatever that means.

Also, Sean and Leila have continued to be useless.
What, you're surprised? The two go on a mission where Leila once again uses her eyebrows to emote about her sister to anybody who might give them information. This time, it's the parents of little Abby, one of the experiment girls who somehow escaped from Mystery Guy's control. She's returned to her parents but still has the face of an old woman. Does she know anything about Samantha? Leila asks in tremble mode. All she remembers is that there was a tower next to the "scary hospital" and that there was a triangle on the meds they dosed her with.

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Also, Mystery Guy sent an assassin out to get "the one who escaped." You think it's Abby but DUM DUM DUM it's really Leila. Mystery Guy wanted to shoot Leila up with old-person-making juice! OMG! Srsly.

But back to the seriously twisted relationship between Sophia Dearest and little Thomas.
So for some reason Isobel can't take power for herself and needs to hide behind Thomas, but Sophia does not have this problem. Not only does she announce at the real estate meeting that she's now taking power back from Thomas, but she gives Thomas the meanest lecture I have ever heard while they're on his private jet to pick up the "key module."

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Basically she says he's completely incompetent and that she's been trying her whole life to make him "be someone you're not - someone strong." It's alien bitch mom city in that plane, and Thomas seems pretty used to it. But by the time she's done, you're pretty glad he's going to kill her. Holy crap, lady, give the kid a break! He built a freakin economic empire while you sat in jail to "protect" him (huh? how did staying in jail protect anybody?). He helped usher in the Atomic Age by working as a janitor at White Sands or something like that. Anyway, he seems pretty ruthless, but then he can't shoot Sophia Dearest and she mocks him and says it's because he's weak. WTF ALIEN BITCH LADY? I love how psycho she gets - then the creepy kiss and "I love you" after he drops the gun? Total hardboiled awesomeness.

And then, like I said, the resolution where Sophia confronts Isobel? Pure demented randomness. All that lesbotic matriarchal I don't even know what and caressing guns on thighs and self-maiming. Jeezus! I love that the non-humans are a dysfunctional family. Also, what did Sophia mean when she said to Isobel, "I know you can't live without your people"? It almost sounded like Isobel might have some kind of biological need to be in contact with the other non-humans.

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Also, Joe Biden is bummed out.
VP Joe Biden is recovering in the hospital, but the president is mad about the whole assassination thing and his wife is mad about the agents who visited their house and promised to kill the family if Joe didn't do the right thing. I still don't understand why Joe Biden is so evil on this show.

Next week, he'll be even more evil and there will be nukes. Also, it's the "fall finale"!

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DISCUSSION

soulgrafitti-old
soulGrafitti

Good review Annalee. I just watched the episode on hulu. You know the other thing about the big revival meeting? Suddenly there are a whole lot more of They than anything we've seen walking away from the crash site. I mean - that many people would have left a serious trail in the snow.

I hit the fast forward when Sean & Leila et al headed into the corn field (a corn field, really?) to run away from the completely lame scary assassin who couldn't even shoot an unarmed guy from about 20 ft. He deserved to get hit in the head with a rock while struggling with a guy with a bullet wound!

I was hoping Leila might be growing a little Sarah O'Conner backbone when she kidnapped the doc to fix Sean - but no - more breathless eyelash batting instead. She and Sean quickly become tiresome because they just go bumbling along essentially doing the same things they were doing in the first episode.

I want to like this show. I hope they tighten it up over the hiatus.